I don't care about anything at all anymore, my family, appearance, house, yard, animals ... NOTHING. I feel NOTHING ! I can't sleep very well if at all. I constantly feel sick to my stomach. I shake and cry all of the time and now I wake up, when I can sleep, feeling dizzy, sick, sweating and shaking like I had a nightmare but I didn't.
Yes, my life is bad but I could always handle it before. So, what has changed so much that I can't function anymore? Am I just lazy, losing my mind or what? I have had thoughts of suicide lately and it is harder and harder to think of reasons why I shouldn't do it and just let this life of hell be over. No one would even care.
I know that people that have a caring family can't understand this. They assume that EVERYONE MUST HAVE SOMEONE THAT CARES ABOUT THEM... but it isn't true because I have no one at all .
After 33yrs of marriage and devoting my life to my children, I have no one that cares ... my husband is so wrapped up into the hook up sites that he barely acknowledges my existence and the kids, now grown up, blame me for everything that has gone wrong in their life . I stayed at home and did everything with and for my children and husband . It just hurts too much to continue writing this .
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