When I was much younger, I would hurt small animals – sometimes even kill them. I was then filled with an overwhelming remorse. I did stop doing those terrible things over 35 years ago, but I still live with my monstrous acts. I am on Effexor, Clonarpam, Enalapril, Propronanol, Inderal LA, and Wellbutrin. I can never remember being happy. I have had happy moments, but I am not a happy person. At times, especially without my medicines, I get so angry and upset, I become afraid for those around me-but I would hurt myself before I would harm another living being. I am co-dependent on my spouse and children. I really think if something would happen to them and I would be alone, I would have to go to a mental facility-I would not be able to function. I always feel like I am going to snap and go completely, I don’t know what. Home is the only place I feel safe, and that is just some of the time. I hate people. I hate interacting with them-I hate conflict. Of course, I am a Executive Resolution Coordinator – I resolve disputes. I am not suicidal, but there are many days, many, many days, I don’t care if I lived or died. Thank you for listening
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