I've been bulimic for about 3 years now. there have been periods where I've stopped a few weeks at a time, and either way, I've always remained a normal weight. I'm 5'4'' 136 lbs, but terrified of gaining weight. All my life people have called me perfect and i think subconsciously, I'm trying to prove that I'm not in a secret way. I went to therapy for 6 weeks to deal with the bulimia as well as a cocaine addiction a few months ago, and it helped tremendously, but I can't completely stop the binging and purging. Also, I'm studying Nutrition for various reasons, and know all the consequences of having an eating disorder but block them out. why? why do I do this to myself? i have a boyfriend who loves me and I'm ashamed to talk about my problem. I want to stop and be a normal healthy person. I know I need to exercise more and stop binging, but i feel like I've lost control. One thing my therapist told me was that I have control issues.. What is your advice? I'm desperate.
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