I have been with my fiancée for 4 years (though off and on). We just got engaged in August. We have currently canceled our wedding date because of issues we both feel need to be addressed before we continue with wedding plans.
I constantly feel like I can't do anything right and so does he. We get easily frustrated with each other and are stubborn. He says I do not make him feel attractive, sexy, and wanted (which is about 90% of what we fight over). I feel his only way to feel wanted is through us making love. To me, it is more than that, I have to feel he wants me in ways other than that. My drive for sex is controlled by how much we fight and how close I feel to him. When he constantly complains about things I don't do right, it makes me distance myself from him. He claims now that I must "change the way things affect me" and that if I don't then he is not important enough to me.
We argue about simple things. He gets "firm" (what I call being hateful) and rude towards me when he addresses me with a problem or issue. He claims this is "just his tone" and he is not being rude or hateful. He has accused me of being hateful and I have worked on it...he has even told me how much he appreciates me not being as hateful.
He has a mechanic hobby shop and stays out in the shop some nights until 10 or 11. He does make time to spend with me and comes in early some nights to. The other night he got mad at me and said he had to "fight to spend time with me" because I was in the shower for too long.
Where do we go from here? Currently, we have left it as I am suppose to "change how things affect me" in an attempt for my sexual drive not to be influenced by anything; however, I do not know how to do that or where to start. . .or if it's even something I should be working on. He says if I do not change that then he "must not mean enough to me".
I feel he cannot be happy unless the sexual drive is there at least 3 times a week.
Where do we go from here?
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