I lived with and loved my soul mate for 6 years. He was charming, smart, engaging and loving. He loved and raised my kids as his own and I appreciated him deeply and expressed it. He was always impulsive with money, has an unstable career, and cut out his best friend of 30 years suddenly. The home and bills are covered by me....fine because his currency was his incredible kindness. Things worried me, but he was the sweetest guy and he was so wonderful to me that I loved him deeply and never would have left him. My whole family loved him and are quite intuitive. No one saw what was coming. We are both in our late 40's and he decided he had to have his own child immediately. I understand, and did the surrogate/egg donor research with him. In the end, I simply didn't feel comfortable with the process and with his ability to provide for a child. His greatest dream was destroyed, I wish I cold have given it to him. No one saw it coming, one day he walked out and has refused to answer my calls or emails. The few things he said were that he didn't know who he was and had lot himself in me. He suddenly hates me. I think he clearly fit the BPD, but the pain and shock is so unbearable for me and my kids who he has not responded to either. Please give me advice on how to live through this unbearable pain. How could I have avoided it? I loved his companionship and love so deeply and am very very sad without it. I keep going over it and over it and I want the pain to go away. I can't believe I have become dead to him.
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