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Relationship Questions

Relationship With My Boss #1

I am 24 y.o. My boyfriend is 9 years older than me but he still acts like a child, there is no difference was very in love with him because he is a tender guy. He is very sociable,makes jokes and girls like him. He had various girlfriend but he had never been really in love. I am the most important girl from all times. I am a very sensitive, perfectionist girl. I'm not that sociable and my biggest problem is the low self-confidence and pessimism. Still, I'm beautiful, smart, I had lots of successful activities in many fields and many people admire me. My boyfriend is also my boss. We used to be very in love like two teenagers. I guess he took advantage of my deep and sincere love for him and not having the power to say no, forgive him for many things, letting things go unsolved just for peace and now, after almost 4 years we have lots of quarrels. He had started some time ago not to respect me anymore, not to feel very much for me. Being my boss he also started to play this role in our relationship. I am very aware of the fact that I should have let him go a long time ago when I first realize is not working but I have a problem with that. He is the only boyfriend I've got and I cannot understand how can you share so many things with a person, be so intimate and then forget everything and see him with another girl. I became very depended of him. I am crying very often, I became sensitive, with a low self-confidence and a low self esteem and he doesn't like that. He wants a happy girl. I understand that and I know I have a problem, I want to be more optimist but I don't trust in me enough. I've tried few times to find the strength to brake the relation but I've became very anxious, desperate and I felt that I can't do it. My sister helps me a lot but only with a sister advices. I feel like I'm living somebody's else life, I'm not the person I used to be: happy, confident. I have 2 choices: braking up the relation or learning how to gain my self confidence, optimism and positive thinking and interior peace. I don't have the power to take the first choice so I really want to try the second one. For the relations' sake and especially for me, as a person. I guess I also need another specialist advice but, please help me.

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