I have been depressed continously for over 4 years now and have suicidal thoughts a great deal. After taking an overdose about 4 years ago I eventually sought help. I am now seeing a counsellor. But thats it. I have no other help at all. I can't talk to my family. I can to my friends a little but I don't tell them the worst things. At work I am told to be sensible and move on or I am treated as paranoid and a bit of an idiot. I am just told that everyone is stressed, not just me. I am not in touch with my feelings and am not usually aware when I feel bad until something happens, ie, a row with a friend or bursting into tears and being unable to control myself. I find being out of control very frightening. I am always reading that if you feel suicidal then seek immediate help. I felt really bad last week after an upset at work and I contacted an out of hours team who said that they didn't think talking to me was helping - I was unable to talk through my problems properly as I was too upset. I then took an overdose. I ended up in hospital. Everyone there was brilliant. Even though I explained how I was feeling to a psychiatrist before I was discharged ie, suicidal feelings, nothing happened except that they contacted my counsellor (who after 5 days still hasn't got in touch) and asked an out of hours team to contact me which they did. But that was it. If I got that bad again I feel there is no point contacting the emergency services again and I will have to sort it out myself, ie, by taking a few extra pills than normal and sleeping it off or by taking a serious overdose. I feel I am not being taken seriously and it makes the feeling of no-one cares a lot worse. I feel as if I am basically being left on my own to deal with it. How can I get them to take me seriously - or is there no way?
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