I am currently single, but planning to be married in 3 months to a wonderful man whom I love very much. I have had an affair with a married man for 10 years. It is broken up now, however, since my engagement, his wife has had an affair and they have broken up. I am having difficulty accepting this because I took myself "off the market" for many years in hope that this man would leave his wife for me. That never happened. Now that I am engaged, he wants me and doesn't want me to get married. I feel that if I don't get married, I would be getting him by default. Besides, I want to get married to the man I am engage to, but I can feel some strong feelings of "what if". He recently emailed me and spoke of dating someone. I know I should be happy, but I just as soon not hear from him again. I told him this and phone calls and emails still come. I should just ignore him, but for some reason I can't. I am not confused about how I feel about the one I am marrying, but I am confused about how I feel about the affair and why he keeps bothering me after I asked him not to. It is like he always gets the last say. I wanted it ended, but my feelings and my brain and heart won't allow it. I am not sure how to get over this. Thank you for any words you may have to offer.
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