my boyfriend of 15 months thinks I'm a compulsive liar. i lied to him at the beginning of our relationship about things i had done with previous partners therefore he doesn't trust me. i exaggerated things because i was sexually abused as a child for a long time and have absolute zero self esteem so i felt like i had to lie to get anyone to like me, i came clean about 3 months into the relationship but now its stretched to him not thinking he's big enough. i reassure him but he wont let me near him. its really screwing us up and i really don't know what to do anymore, he's the love of my life and i can feel him slipping away. he gets abusive when he brings it up, shouts screams and swears at me. he's made me feel so bad before about it that I've tried to kill myself in his kitchen. i know its my fault but i really cant see any way we, or i can get through this. please help me
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