I am so depressed and I have no idea what to do. Two years ago, I met the man of my dreams. My best friend. I have given him so much of myself. I love him with all of my heart. We live 2 states away. Getting closer hasn't been an option. About a year and a half ago, I made a huge mistake. I don't even know why. I listed myself on a dating site. I didn't want anyone else. I don't know why it happened. I've spent the last year and a half trying to prove myself to him.
Last night, my significant other told me I was making huge strides. However, because of our distance and lack of getting to see each other, while I've been moving forward in our relationship, he has been going backwards. And he does not see how our relationship will work. All he can think about is what I did a year and a half ago. He has yet to forgive me. I've been struggling with severe depression since I got on that site. I am losing everything that matters to me because of that one mistake. And he is giving up hope on us. He means more to me than anyone. I can't lose him. I'll snap. I don't know what to do. And my depression worsens each day. I go to counseling and l take Zoloft, Xanax, and Tegretol. I hate myself. I hate myself for screwing up. I would give anything to change it. He's put huge walls up and is becoming distant. I don't know what to do. I'm worried his leaving me is a short time away. I know he loves me. I just don't know why he is doing this.
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