|Basic InformationMore InformationLatest NewsQuestions and AnswersBlog EntriesVideosLinksBook Reviews|100 Things Guys Need to Know3 NBS of Julian DrewA Guide to Asperger SyndromeA Tribe ApartA User Guide to the GF/CF Diet for Autism, Asperger Syndrome and AD/HDA Walk in the Rain With a BrainAdolescence and Body ImageAdolescent DepressionAfterAggression and Antisocial Behavior in Children and AdolescentsAll Alone in the UniverseAmelia RulesAmericaAnother PlanetAntisocial Behavior in Children and AdolescentsArtemis FowlAssessment and Treatment of Childhood Problems, Second EditionAutistic Spectrum DisordersBad GirlBetween Two WorldsBeyond AppearanceBeyond Diversity DayBig Mouth & Ugly GirlBill HensonBipolar DisordersBody Image, Eating Disorders, and ObesityBody Image, Eating Disorders, and Obesity in YouthBoyBoysBrandedBreaking PointBreathing UnderwaterBringing Up ParentsBullying and TeasingCan't Eat, Won't EatCatalystChild and Adolescent Psychological DisordersChildren Changed by TraumaChildren with Emerald EyesChildren’s Dreaming and the Development of Consciousness City of OneConcise Guide to Child and Adolescent PsychiatryConquering the Beast WithinContentious IssuesCrackedCutDancing in My NuddypantsDemystifying the Autistic ExperienceDescartes' BabyDilemmas of DesireDirtyDoing ItDoing SchoolDying to Be ThinEating an ArtichokeEducating Children With AutismElijah's CupEllison the ElephantEmerald City BluesEmotional and Behavioral Problems of Young ChildrenEvery Girl Tells a StoryFast GirlsFeather BoyFiregirlForever YoungFreaks, Geeks and Asperger SyndromeFreewillGeography ClubGeorgia Under WaterGirl in the MirrorGirlfightingGirlsourceGirlWiseGLBTQGood GirlsGoodbye RuneGranny Torrelli Makes SoupGrowing Up GirlHandbook for BoysHealing ADDHeartbeatHelping Children Cope With Disasters and TerrorismHelping Parents, Youth, and Teachers Understand Medications for Behavioral and Emotional ProblemsHollow KidsHow Children Learn the Meanings of WordsHow to Keep Your Teenager Out of Trouble and What to Do If You Can'tHug MeIntrusive ParentingIt's Me!It's Perfectly NormalJake RileyJoey Pigza Swallowed the KeyJuvenile-Onset SchizophreniaKeeping the MoonKilling MonstersKim: Empty InsideKnocked Out by My Nunga-NungasLaura Numeroff's 10-Step Guide to Living with Your MonsterLearning About School ViolenceLeo the Lightning BugLet Kids Be KidsLiberation's ChildrenLife As We Know ItLisa, Bright and DarkLittle ChicagoLord of the FliesLoserLove and SexLove That DogManicMastering Anger and AggressionMind FieldsMiss American PieMom, Dad, I'm Gay.MonsterMore Than a LabelMyths of ChildhoodNew Hope for Children and Teens with Bipolar DisorderNo Two AlikeNot Much Just Chillin'Odd Girl OutOdd Girl Speaks OutOn the Frontier of AdulthoodOne Hot SecondOne in ThirteenOphelia SpeaksOphelia's MomOur Journey Through High Functioning Autism and Asperger SyndromeOut of the DustOvercoming School AnxietyParenting and the Child's WorldParenting Your Out-Of-Control TeenagerPediatric PsychopharmacologyPeriod PiecesPhobic and Anxiety Disorders in Children and AdolescentsPINSPraising Boys WellPraising Girls WellPretty in PunkPrincess in the SpotlightProblem Child or Quirky Kid?Psychotherapy As PraxisPsychotherapy for Children and AdolescentsRaising a Self-StarterRaising BlazeRaising Resilient ChildrenReclaiming Our ChildrenRedressing the EmperorReducing Adolescent RiskRethinking ADHDReweaving the Autistic TapestryRineke DijkstraRitalin is Not the Answer Action GuideRunning on RitalinSay YesSexual Teens, Sexual MediaSexuality in AdolescenceShooterShort PeopleShould I Medicate My Child?Skin GameSmackSmashedStaying Connected to Your TeenagerStick FigureStoner & SpazStop Arguing with Your KidsStraight Talk about Your Child's Mental HealthStrong, Smart, & BoldStudent DepressionSurvival Strategies for Parenting Children with Bipolar DisorderSurviving OpheliaTaking Charge of ADHD, Revised EditionTaming the Troublesome ChildTargeting AutismTeaching Problems and the Problems of TeachingTeen Angst? NaaahThat SummerThe American Psychiatric Publishing Textbook Of Child And Adolescent PsychiatryThe Arctic IncidentThe Bipolar ChildThe Buffalo TreeThe Bully, the Bullied, and the BystanderThe Carnivorous CarnivalThe Depressed ChildThe Developing MindThe Dragons of AutismThe Dream BearerThe Dulcimer Boy The Einstein SyndromeThe EpidemicThe Eternity CubeThe Explosive ChildThe Field of the DogsThe First IdeaThe Identity TrapThe Inside Story on Teen GirlsThe Little TernThe Mean Girl MotiveThe Men They Will BecomeThe Myth of LazinessThe New Gay TeenagerThe Notebook GirlsThe Nurture AssumptionThe Opposite of InvisibleThe Order of the Poison OakThe Other ParentThe Present Moment in Psychotherapy and Everyday LifeThe Real Truth About Teens and SexThe Rise and Fall of the American TeenagerThe Secret Lives of GirlsThe Sex Lives of TeenagersThe Shared HeartThe Spider and the BeeThe StepsThe Thought that CountsThe Unhappy ChildThe Vile VillageThe Whole ChildThen Again, Maybe I Won'tTherapy with ChildrenThings I Have to Tell YouTouching Spirit BearTrauma in the Lives of ChildrenTreacherous LoveTrue BelieverTwistedUnhappy TeenagersWay to Be!We're Not MonstersWhat about the KidsWhat Would Joey Do?What's Happening to My Body? Book for BoysWhat's Happening to My Body? Book for GirlsWhen Nothing Matters AnymoreWhen Sex Goes to SchoolWhen Your Child Has an Eating DisorderWhere The Kissing Never StopsWhose America?Why Are You So Sad?WinnicottWorried All the TimeYes, Your Teen Is Crazy!You Hear MeYoung People and Mental HealthYour Child, Bully or Victim?
by Michael J. Bradley
Harbor Press, 2001
Review by Shelly Marshall on Oct 18th 2002
Ever since Judith Rich Harriss The Nurture
Assumption came out to challenge the sacred beliefs surrounding
child-rearing, parenting experts have scrambled to put out a definitive
refutation and assure parents that what they do, indeed will produce good kids.
Yes, Your Teen is Crazy by Michael J. Bradley, Ed.D. is no exception.
Book after book extolling parenting skills have hit the shelves for the
umpteenth time stating that if a parent would only begin soon enough,
understand their child deep enough, stay involved, learn to communicate, never
hit, always love the unlovable, and be reasonable in the face of
unreasonableness, then their child/teen/alien pod will eventually reach 21
intact and not incarcerated. Again, this book is no exception.
Where Bradley does give the reader
the exceptional, you will be as amazed at his inventiveness as you will by his
cruelty. This book is well written, engaging the reader with down to earth
anecdotes that any parent can relate to and yet Bradley doles out advice that
wrenches the heart because there is no way to implement it with your self-worth
Part one tells us what any person
with offspring already knows, that teens are crazy. The author repeatedly
asserts that research says this and research shows that, but maddeningly never
bothers to name the actual studies. For parents willing to trust the author
about what research finds, this wont present a problem. For parents wanting
verification about the whys and wherefores, they will be disappointed. You
simply have to take Bradleys word for everything. Notwithstanding, part ones
most usable feature deals with adolescent insanity and distinguishing between
what is normal and what you need to seek help with.
Part two and three, predictably,
take the reader to parental hell where once again you will be lectured, however
poignantly, about how self-sacrificing, self-defacing, omni-present, and
omni-potent you must be to raise a good kid.
In shades of Dr. Laura, Bradley extols setting aside your own needs and
focusing exclusively on your child. He acknowledges you are human while asking
for the inhuman; he acknowledges that what he asks for is impossible and warns
you if you dont do the impossible, your child is lost.
Basically you are told that your adolescent
can abuse you (only exception is physical violence) and that you can take it, must take it, to show him or her how
stable you are, model good behavior, and create a base of love that your kids
can count on. You must also find every opportunity to apologize to your child, even when doing things you believe in and
would do a second time, ostensibly to gain your childs respect.
Your child cant help what he or
she is doing, you are told, and you can. It is difficult to understand
Bradleys argument that allowing your kid to treat you like a dog is going to
help your child in the outside world. I sincerely question his contention that
your adolescent cant help screaming
profanities, hurling insults and threats, and disobeying you at frequent junctionsI
doubt it because teens seldom act that way around their friends and in other
settings. If they can stifle their acting out at the mall, they can stifle it
in the kitchen. Even if standing up
bravely in the face of abuse from your child really did make them respect and
love you (again, something I doubt), what does that teach them about how to
treat the ones they love the most? That if you love someone you dont react to
abuse and/or that its OK to abuse the ones you love? To be fair, Mr. Bradley
does say his advice is counterintuitive. Many readers will come away believing
its counterproductive, too.
Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy
validates what a parent already knows about their brain-challenged teen,
presents new ways to look at and implement seasoned techniques of parenting,
and provides a decent chuckle of recognition now and again. After reading this
book, you will no longer be plagued with guilt that anything you did turned him
or her into a raging, insane, out of control Marilyn Manson groupie. Peers,
genes and developmental brain chemistry do that, but you are not off the hook
for long. You will forever be plagued with guilt that your inability to embrace
the humiliating and downright cruel standards required of you, creates bad
blood between you and your child that is
your fault and your future.
© 2002 Shelly Marshall
Shelly Marshall, BS, CDAC, is a
researcher and specialist in adolescent addiction recovery. A best selling
author of recovery self-help books, Marshal also trains counselors Internationally
and is a representative to the United Nations for a Russian Charity NAN (Not to Alcoholism and Drug Addiction).