|Basic InformationMore InformationQuestions and AnswersBlog EntriesVideosLinksBook Reviews| Maximizing Effectiveness in Dynamic Psychotherapy Self-Compassion in Psychotherapy101 Healing Stories101 Things I Wish I'd Known When I Started Using HypnosisA Primer for Beginning PsychotherapyA Therapist's Guide to Understanding Common Medical ProblemsACT With LoveAlready FreeAssessment and Treatment of Childhood Problems, Second EditionBad TherapyBecoming MyselfBefore ForgivingBeing a Brain-Wise TherapistBiofeedback for the BrainBody PsychotherapyBody SenseBoundaries and Boundary Violations in PsychoanalysisBrain Change TherapyBreaking ApartBuffy the Vampire Slayer and PhilosophyBuilding on BionCare of the PsycheChoosing an Online TherapistClinical Handbook of Psychological DisordersClinical Intuition in PsychotherapyClinical Pearls of WisdomCo-Creating ChangeCompassion and Healing in Medicine and SocietyConfessions of a Former ChildConfidential RelationshipsConfidentiality and Mental HealthConfidingContemplative Psychotherapy EssentialsCouch FictionCounseling with Choice TheoryCritical Issues in PsychotherapyCrucial Choices, Crucial ChangesDecoding the Ethics CodeDepression 101Depression in ContextDo-It-Yourself Eye Movement Techniques for Emotional HealingDoing CBTDoing ItE-TherapyEncountering the Sacred in PsychotherapyEnergy Psychology InteractiveEssays on Philosophical CounselingEthics in Psychotherapy and CounselingEveryday Mind ReadingExercise-Based Interventions for Mental IllnessExistential PsychotherapyExpressing EmotionFacing Human SufferingFairbairn's Object Relations Theory in the Clinical SettingFamily TherapyFavorite Counseling and Therapy Homework AssignmentsFlourishingFlying ColorsGod & TherapyHandbook of Clinical Psychopharmacology for TherapistsHandbook of Counseling and Psychotherapy with Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual ClientsHealing the Heart and Mind with MindfulnessHealing the Soul in the Age of the BrainHeinz KohutHow and Why Are Some Therapists Better Than Others?How People ChangeHow to Give Her Absolute PleasureHow to Go to TherapyIf Only I Had KnownIn SessionIn Therapy We TrustIn Treatment: Season 1Incorporating Spirituality in Counseling and PsychotherapyIs Long-Term Therapy Unethical?Issues in Philosophical CounselingIt’s Your HourLearning from Our MistakesLetters to a Young TherapistLogotherapy and Existential AnalysisLove's ExecutionerMan's Search for MeaningMeditations on Self-Discipline and FailureMetaphoria: Metaphor and Guided Metaphor for Psychotherapy and HealingMindfulnessMindfulness and AcceptanceMindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for DepressionMindworks: An Introduction to NLPMockingbird YearsMomma and the Meaning of LifeMotivational Interviewing: Preparing People For ChangeMulticulturalism and the Therapeutic ProcessOf Two MindsOn the CouchOne Nation Under TherapyOur Inner WorldOutsider Art and Art TherapyOvercoming Destructive Beliefs, Feelings, and BehaviorsPhilosophical CounselingPhilosophical MidwiferyPhilosophical PracticePhilosophy and PsychotherapyPhilosophy for Counselling and PsychotherapyPhilosophy PracticePhilosophy's Role in Counseling and PsychotherapyPlato, Not Prozac!Process-Based CBTPsychologists Defying the CrowdPsychology, Psychotherapy, Psychoanalysis, and the Politics of Human RelationshipsPsychosis in the FamilyPsychotherapyPsychotherapyPsychotherapy As PraxisPsychotherapy East and WestPsychotherapy for Children and AdolescentsPsychotherapy for Personality DisordersRational Emotive Behavior TherapyRational Emotive Behavior TherapyRationality and the Pursuit of HappinessRecovery OptionsRent Two Films and Let's Talk in the MorningSaving the Modern SoulSecond-order Change in PsychotherapySelf MattersSelf-Compassion in PsychotherapySelf-Determination Theory in the ClinicSexual Orientation and Psychodynamic PsychotherapyStrangers to OurselvesTaking America Off DrugsTales of PsychotherapyThe Art of HypnosisThe Case Formulation Approach to Cognitive-Behavior TherapyThe Compassionate ConnectionThe Crucible of ExperienceThe Education of Mrs. BemisThe Fall Of An IconThe Gift of TherapyThe Great Psychotherapy Debate: The Evidence for What Makes Psychotherapy Work The Husbands and Wives ClubThe Love CureThe Making of a TherapistThe Mummy at the Dining Room TableThe Neuroscience of PsychotherapyThe Neuroscience of Psychotherapy: Healing the Social BrainThe New PsychoanalysisThe Philosopher's Autobiography The Portable CoachThe Portable Ethicist for Mental Health Professionals The Present Moment in Psychotherapy and Everyday LifeThe Problem with Cognitive Behavioural TherapyThe Psychodynamics of Gender and Gender RoleThe Psychotherapy Documentation PrimerThe Real World Guide to Psychotherapy PracticeThe Schopenhauer CureThe Talking CureThe Therapeutic "Aha!"The Therapist's Guide to Psychopharmacology, Revised EditionThe Therapist's Ultimate Solution BookThe UnsayableThe Wing of MadnessTheory and Practice of Brief TherapyTherapyTheraScribe 4.0Thinking about ThinkingThriveToward a Psychology of AwakeningTracking Mental Health OutcomesTreating Attachment DisordersWhat the Buddha FeltWhat Works for Whom? Second EditionWhy Psychoanalysis?Yoga Therapy
by Mike Feder
Seven Stories Press, 2001
Review by Courtney Young on Dec 22nd 2002
There comes a time when many of us
say to ourselves, I hope I dont end up like my mother, (or father- whatever
the case may be). Day after day we
memorize their behavior, and come to know so well who we dont want to
emulate. Years later, we are devastated
to find that we have in fact become them despite all our efforts. Perhaps this is not so bad if your mother
simply has a tendency to be bossy, or a neat freak. These are personality quirks we can live with. On the other hand it can be frightening if
she is an alcoholic, a manic-depressive, or a schizophrenic.
Imagine growing up in a household
where your mother was unable to care for herself--let alone a family. Where she would cry for hours at a time, or
yell uncontrollably for no apparent reason, and make frequent trips to mental
hospitals. Some of us do grow up this
way, including radio talk show host Mike Feder. In his book The Talking Cure, we see in a tragically comic
way the implications this had on his development as a person. We are able to witness the gradual evolution
of his own mental illness, and see how it affects his relationships, career,
and even his ability to care for himself.
The book begins with the birth of
Mikes little sister; the girl that was thought to be the reason Mikes mother
Ruth went crazy. After her birth Ruth
fell into post-partum depression, and was never the same. Its easy to see where a childs logic would
make the sister the evil one for causing this. Sadly though, Mike did think this as a child and separated
himself from her; having no real brother- sister relationship. Mikes father left when he was three years
old. This too had a profound emotional
impact on him, as it would on anyone Im sure.
Despite infrequent visits, Mikes father was rarely a part of his life.
Like many tortured souls one needs
some form of artistic expression.
Mikes gift was his ability to tell stories. He was able to make people laugh at his crazy life, and many
people could relate to him. This
perhaps saved him from himself, for it was his major outlet. Feder walks us through his life making sure
not to leave out any embarrassing moments (which youll have to read for yourself). Although his life is for the most part
tragic he is able to relay it in such a way to the audience that we laugh. Perhaps it is easier for all of us to look
back on our lives that way.
Mike grew up having a stern
psychiatrist sitting in as a father figure, looking to him for advice and
approval. This first of many doctors in
his life was crucial in getting Mike to leave the house of his mentally ill
mother. A step that is hard for many to
take because of lingering feelings of guilt, and responsibility.
Mike went to college and almost
lived a normal life. It wasnt until he
was in his first marriage that he began to fall apart. Ironically his first wife, Carol, was a
graduate psychology student. She had a
very detailed picture of what she wanted her life to be like. Mike was to become an English Professor like
her father, and wear tweed jackets while smoking a pipe. This didnt seem like such a bad thing to
him at the time because he thought he was in love, and would do anything to
please Carol even if it meant becoming some one he was not. He continued seeing a psychiatrist and
wanted him to meet Carol. They
immediately disliked each other. Carol
soon convinced Mike that he was fine and no longer needed to see a shrink. This would soon lead to his anxiety attacks,
and the end of his marriage. He never
spoke to Carol again. In between
marriages his life was a roller coaster.
He worked ridiculous jobs, and continued battling with his own
mind. This would provide ample topics
for his story telling.
During his second marriage he gets
a job at his favorite radio station, and eventually gets his own show. He talks about his crazy family, failed
relationships, and noteworthy mishaps on the job. Every one agrees he is a great storyteller and he develops a
loyal following. In addition to the
radio show he would go to various venues to tell his stories in front of live
audiences. Although this was extremely
therapeutic to him he was still struggling with his manic depression. With his second wife, Susan, he fathered two
children, but this marriage too began to fall apart; and took some interesting
twists and turns that the reader might not expect. He does the one thing I thought he would not do-leave his
kids. Its hard to imagine him doing this
knowing the emptiness he felt when his father left him. Things do change for the better, but Mike
hits bottom before this happens, and must check himself into a mental hospital.
Mike Feders life at times seemed
like a struggle just to stay afloat. We
get a unique look at his life and all the variables that affect his mind. There is obviously a lot more to his memoirs
than what I have summed up here, but it is better told by Feder who can make us
laugh at his misfortunes.
This book would be beneficial to
those who themselves are struggling with a mental illness, or friends and
family members of some one who is sick.
I would also recommend it to those studying or practicing psychology or
psychiatry. Feders life takes so many
surprising deviations that it was hard for me to put this book down.
© 2002 Courtney F. Young
recently graduated from Dowling College, Long Island, NY majoring in Fine Arts
and minoring in Philosophy. While
planning her next step, she maintains her mental health by surfing.