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Allan Schwartz, Ph.D.Allan Schwartz, Ph.D.
Dr. Schwartz's Weblog

Do You Have a Shy Bladder?

Allan N. Schwartz, LCSW, Ph.D. Updated: Apr 9th 2008

 It's called paruresis and its no joking matter to anyone who has it. Why am I writing about it now? Actually, a few days ago some friends and family were at my house and got to talking. I don't remember how we drifted onto this topic, of all things, but we did. One of our friends, a woman, mentioned the fact that when she urinates she hates to make any noise and cannot go if she thinks anyone is listening. I was suprised to hear how many people in the group then admitted to the same problem.

For those who experience what is commonly referred to as "Shy or Bashful Bladder," the experience can cause painful and embarassing dilemmas. For example:

1. There are people who are so self conscious about public bathrooms that they must wait to urinate until they are home.

2. Feeling the necessity to wait until one can urinate until they are home can cause life to become very restricted:
 a. These individuals must find work near home where they can walk home so that they can go.
 b. Many will not travel because of an inability to go in airline bathrooms or other places.
 c. They feel so embarassed about this problem that they make up excuses to other people for what appears to be odd behavior about wanting to get home.
 d. Despite needing to urinate very badly, these individual cannot urinate no matter how much will power they apply to the situation. It goes without saying that this can become uncomfortable and painful.

Of course, there are different degrees to which a person can have this disorder. When the disorder is mild, a person may experience some inconvenience and may even be able to urinate in a public bathroom at times. However, when it is severe, as explained above, it can really alter and limit an individual's ability to live their lives without restrictions.

Basically, Shy Bladder is an anxiety disorder. As long as nothing is wrong organically, it is intense social anxiety and embarassment that causes an individual to tighten the urinary sphincter muscle so that they cannot go. It must be emphasizedd that this tightening of the sphincter is involuntary in nature and not a matter of choice.

What Causes Shy Bladder?

It is not known for sure what the cause is of paruresis is. Men and women equally suffer from the disorder. It is thought that some type of humiliating process may have occurred during childhood or that it is part of a larger General Anxiety Disorder.  Whatever the causes, it is very common and nothing to be ashamed of. Here are some treatment options for this problem:

Treatment:

1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can be useful in this. In this way an individual is helped to alter their thoughts and feelings about urination and public bathrooms.

2. Systematic Desensitization in which therapy is used to help a patient develop pleasant associations, when totally relaxed, about the need to urnate in bathrooms away from home.

3. Suggestions are given such as: turn on the faucet while you go in order to hide the noise and to promote relaxation allowing the sphnincter release its muscle allowing urination. With repeated success, the problem can abate.

4. The same relaxation techniques applied to all anxiety disorder work here: deep breathing, muscle relaxation, imagining pleasant and relaxing scenarios.

5. Anti anxiety medications are a last resort but carry the danger of addiction.

As I write about this I am aware that some readers might find this amusing, absurd or just plain dumb. I want to assure all of you that paruresis is none of those things.

I invite readers to submit comments and questions.

Allan Schwartz, LCSW, Ph.D.

Readers who live in the Boulder, Colorado metro area, or in Southwest Florida may contact Dr. Schwartz for face-to-face consultation. He is also available for psychotherapy through Skype video for those who are not in Florida or Colorado. He can be reached via email at dransphd@aol.com for details.

    Reader Comments
    Discuss this issue below or in our forums.

    no! - - Mar 17th 2015

    I just turned 25 and I've always had a hard time going in front of people but when I got into my late teens I noticed it was getting alot more complex just to take a leak I was on opiates at the time and thought that was probably contributing to having trouble going pee but I've been off of pain meds for awhile and still find myself in bad shape I can relate to almost every post on here couldn't piss infont of my gf at the time and we were together almost 5 years now I find myself having a radio playing in the bathroom turn the shower on turn the sink on let it warm up reach over and stick my hand in the warm water plugging my ears while flushing the toilet you name it I've probably done it even sometimes when I'm at my house alone I can Cant piss only thing that seems to help is beer lol but I'm not a big drinker so idk but as I get older I'm realizing this is becoming a pretty annoying issue 

    Very Frustrating... - Michael - Mar 13th 2015

    I have had this issue for years. Too long to remember. I have never been to a  doctor for it but I know mine is caused by anxiety. There have been times my bladder hurt and I could urinate in the mens room all because someone was in there. Even if I am in a stall with the door locked and closed. But it haplens differently. Sometimes I can go after standing there a while. Sometimes I can go fast. Sometimes I cant go at all. The majority of the time though I cant go. The only way I figured out that helps is if I start thinking about something in particular. 

    Lifelong Problem - David Dilmore - Mar 6th 2015

    I have suffered this for over 40 years, I also have GAD ans have avoidand personality disorder. Being unable to go to the toilet still rules my life.  I don't do holidays, cannot travel far, don't drink away from home.  Because I have severe anxiety, there are times when I struggle to go to the toilet even at home.  Please someone invent a drug to cure this problem...perhaps it would change my life completely.  It's twenty years since I last went out on a date, couldn't think of anything but the real need to go to the toilet.... never tried going out again.

    I thought it was just me being weird...

    I am glad I am not the only one!!! - Alex - Feb 19th 2015

    I always thought that no one else had the issue with peeing so never discussed about it. I am 30, when ever I got to a public restroom to pee if there is someone else I just act like I am peeing stey there for e few seconds then I zip my up and leave without peeing. 

    this may help u over come shy bladder - - Feb 17th 2015

    IIf u are a male try letting your pee start down your penis so when u are at the urinals it will be ready for to u to start peeing without waiting for the pee to get down your penis then into the urinal.if u are female try going as soon as u feel like u have to pee & try telling your bladder that your give it 5 mins.to let my pee out or I am getting up with out going pee it will have stay there unit I am ready to go again.

    How I get married? - - Jan 28th 2015

    How to get merried with this shi*? Ones a girl what I was dateing with asked me why you never pee?

    Sooner or later every girl ask me that. Why you never go to pee?

    Becouse I am a freak baby :)

    Activating prostate - - Jan 2nd 2015

    I'm a 19 year old male and actually have shy bladder. I always found that for males at least that jumping up in down helps activate the prostate so you are able to go more easily. That is just the physical part though.

    not severe - Jayde - Dec 3rd 2014

    Thank goodness my shy bladder isn't as severe as some.  I am able to urinate in front of my husband and if I'm in a large public restroom but if I am at work which only has 2 stalls, I cannot urinate if someone else is in there. I have to wait until I hear the other person leave. More annoying than anything.

    shy bladder - - Nov 10th 2014

    I'm 22 and i have a shy bladder.I rememer when i was in my teens and about 21 i never had a shy bladder until i went to Disney world wiht my ex-boyfriend and his family. I was using the bathroom when my ex-boyfriend's sister's boyfriend walked in on my unaccident. Now when i use the bathroom,any nosie or if someone is talking i can't use the bathroom with out taking a good 20 minutes or so. When i use the bathroom i normally have to plug my ears and tell myself that either i'm alone or noone is going to walk in on me.

    shy bladder - steve - Oct 30th 2014

    Im 44 and developed my shy bladder when i joined the service when i was 20.  it was at boot camp when we had to do a radom test, company commanders yelling at everyone, standing over your shoulder screaming in your ear to go!  i held it for 2 days before i could finally go and never had so much pain.  Since then every time i go for a random test (per my job requirements) it takes me a couple hrs.  the silence outside the door, the pressure of no time got to hurry up makes it very difficult for me.  Just knowing when i have to go take a test makes my anixety go up, and i feel even more worse when i have to explain this over and over with the look from the tech like im crazy.  I havent found anything that really helps except for filling my bladder to the point where i have to go.  At least i was given a parting gift from the service that will stay with me.

    dont giveup - albertpasadenatx - Oct 23rd 2014

    Im33 ihave struggled with shybladder for alongtime too i actually missedout on good jobs for not being able to pee when iknow their hearing me or not lettingme close the door.i actually have put my own piss in a plastic contsiner with heat pad onit to pass a drugtest just for backup incase i couldnt go even ifi hsd drsnked alot of water.anoyher thing has helped when going for a drugtest is in the morning hold my pee snd keep drinking watet so when i get there ican go fast.but i just pray for God to help me to overcome this .ijust gotta keep trying never giveup.

    Quick cure - - Oct 21st 2014

    I have a solution if it gets severe. Remember in summer camp when people would put someone asleep hand in a bowl of warm to hot water would make them piss in their pants while they slept. Kids are cruel but with this problem a shy bladder if your locked up pour warm to hot water over yourself and it will stimulate your muscles to relax and you will urinate. I suggest a cup of warm to hot water. It's better than being catherized which causes damage to you. I learn this myself and it's saved my a*s many times. you will never hear this from a doctor but now you know I hope this helps everyone

    Denied work - Jason - Sep 20th 2014

    I lost out at a job opportunity having this condition. I went for a drug test was there 3 hours and couldn't pee. The wellness dept lady from the gas company told me to go see a urologist. I paid out of my pocket to see him and all he said was I had anxiety and prescribed a Valium to take an hour before a test. The gas company didn't but it and said they would have to count it as a refusal. I'm so depressed I feel like a wierdo.

    shy bladder - - Aug 23rd 2014

    same, happens all the time at school and home. Even if I know nobody cares how my pee sounds I still dont like hearing it myself. I find it really helps (for me at least- this is also in a stall) if I cover my ears or listen to music through earbuds so I cant hear it.

    Same problem - - Jun 29th 2014

    I am 16 and at the last resort of medication for anxiety to calm down to help me relax the muscles. 

    Same problem - - Jan 25th 2014
    I'm 27 and I believe I suffer from a bashful bladder. I really find it difficult to urinate in a public urinal. It's not that I'm worried about people looking at me just about people hearing me I guess. It's embarrassing standing there trying for ages that I feel I have to give up incase someone thinks I'm there doing something I shouldn't.

    same problem - Joseph - Aug 17th 2013

    Yes ..and its my duty to inform someone about it before my symptom gets worse..I been having this for 13 years.  And I'm 33.. and im very afraid to tell my family..because of shamefulness..and they would think its wierd..i told them before..its like they didnt take it seriously on my shy bladder problem...i told my doctor too.no help much...but my aunt kept saying "Its all in the head"....but im still experiencing anxiety when i go...and i cant go at all...its a nightmare....even when i want to travel somewhere or have fun...i feel helpless..thank you.

    still trying - me - Jul 18th 2013

    I decided to wrote this cause i can't hold it in me.i have a problem...so i need to face it and overcome it.it's the first time that i talk about this....i hope i'll be a lil relief after sharing this to you guys. I decided to start from today my life, my new fu##in life that i should've live by now. So here we go, from this moment i'm free from this problem. How? Cause i fu##in want to. Peace!

    tell me some tips to recover.Dl - - Jun 27th 2013

    i am 14 yr old with this problem.it doesn,t happen always but sometimes. like it doesn,t happen when in a normal public restroom where there are strangers i can use the stall and easily urinate but i cant use the urinals but its not a big deal because there is always a stall available.But it is a very big problem for me when travelling like in a plane or a train.Like i will tell you my experiences.experience1.like 1 yr ago i had a flight when we reached airport we were informed we had to wait 2 hrs for the flight i was well aware of the problem so i decided to go to the restroom 3 times.so in the first hour there were 4 or 5 strangers using the urinals so i took a stall and easily urinated the second was the same the third time it was 10 min left for the flight so i went and there was 1urinal empty and all stalls were occupied.so i couldn,t urinate in urinal but at that time i couldn,t even have been urinated in a stall because of time axiety.2.i was travelling in a train i had to go to restroom i went there about 10 times still couldn,t urinate.but the 11th time i urinated by applying pressure and then it easily flowed if you can tell me some tips for this it will be really helpfull.

    it's consumed my life - Mike Schwartz - Apr 22nd 2013

    I've had this since i was about 16 to 17, I'm now 39. Started out when i was 16 or so i went to a concert. Couldnt pee for the life of me. I tried out side before we went in(probably had about a cpl beers at this point to so i had to go. So went to the concert tried in there at the stalls and no luck there. Ended up holding it all night till i got home and finally went. As time went on it just got worse and worse. After many more moments like this of going places, leaving early always,embarassment from it, and when being out constanly thinking about it. It just makes going anywhre a ton of stress. All i can think about when i leave is getting back in time before i have to pee. I have so much stuff from 22 yrs of this that comes to mind its hard to put its all down at once. I have tried alot of the therapys above to. Ive had scopes up there,cathedors,and more scopes and cathedors, hypnotherapist,psychologists etc. 

    tiredofit - - Mar 7th 2013

    I had a situation when I was a child when I was in a restroom at a driv-in and a older guy made fun of my size.Iam just average in size,but have had problems going when someone else is close.Alcohol used to help,but I dont drink anymore,am in my 50s and ashamedly still unable to go when next to someone .If hypnosis helped,I would jump at it.Anyone have any ideas.

    Urination - Kenny - Feb 13th 2013

    I dont ave a problem goin a a Public restroom,my problem is having to go while someone is waching.Im in a situation where i have to take UAs about once sometimes more a Month wile someone watces vERY closely.And i just cant do it.You get a certain amount of time and ive been there for hours rying with no luck.I dont know what to do as i have 16 more months of his.I drink a ton of water til it feels like im gonna blow up and i stil is hit or miss.I need help.I have Xanax and im wondering if taking one before i go in,that it might help.Im stuck!!

    Can't get a job - - Feb 8th 2013

    Am grateful to know that this real. Have had this problem at the doctors office numerous times. Can get my blood drawn but when it comes to a urine sample am just disgusted by the thought that someone will be looking at my pee. Today I tried to do a urine test for a job and will not be getting that job because once again even though I had to piss like a race horse I was not able to go in the cup. I don't have any other sypmtoms, can go in public, outdoors, with people watching. Have also noticed this when lets say a cute guy talks to me right before I go in to the restroom, someone who makes me nervous.

    Anonymous - - Nov 19th 2012

    hey im 14 years old and in my school, i just dont want to go to the bathroom..because im soooo afraid that my friends will hear anything...ugh!! its just awful....what will you suggest to make peeing quiet....nice article btw,,,

    Still a problem - Fellow Sufferer - Sep 28th 2012

      I have had this probem since I was 23.  I am now 46.  It has really caused me alot of problems.  I have seen psychiatrists, taken meds, etc. 

      The thing that has helped me the most is getting involved with the IPA and attending their workshops as well as attending the Detroit Area Aupport Group meetings.  I have also tried to practice exposure therapy on my own. 

      I still have this problem and I believe that I always will to some extent, but it is better now.  My symptoms are not as bad as they once were.  It is still a problem for me though.  There is no way I could pass an observed UA.      

    Been there before - Mike - Sep 26th 2012

    I've had trouble with this on and off throughout life. I am by no means a shy person, nor do I have any more anxiety than the next person, but occasionally I just can't pee unless I'm completely relaxed. Running water actually makes it harder for me to relax, dunno why. Many times I have no problems using public restrooms, however sometimes I find if I spark up a small conversation with whomever is currently in the facilities, that helps to relax me and I can pee. Sometimes I imagine weird things and kind of zone out and whatever my mental block is that is keeping me from urinating, its released and I'm good. 

    I'm assuming something lies under my subconcious that causes this. When I was younger I was thought to have a blockage in my bladder and after some painful surgery, nothing changed. From doing some reading, there is no known cure for this, but I've personally noticed that certain pain medications like Vicodin make it worse. Having overactive bladder disorder or Interstitial Cystitus can cause this occasionally. 

    So I can relate to you all and I can only hope that you can get passed this eventually. 

    struggle - doug - Sep 21st 2012

    i'm 32, think this developed way back in my childhood. it started off mild. i avoided the situation where i could. because of fear. fear of my anxiety, and fear of shame that i wasn't normal.

    the more i avoided, the worse symptoms became, until there were very few situations i could go. even struggling at home.

    this of course affected my life and my mind. and i got depressed and times were really tough. (i got anxious about everything at one point, the phone ringing, or the doorbell... i'd freak out, and i knEw it wasn't rational, but i couldn't control it)

    then i heard someone mention it in the media, found out it had a name, AND I WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE! what a huge relief

    since then looking up on the internet and trying to understand whats going on has really helped (i am a bit annoyed that so many people try and profit from something so debilitating -scum- but some people i wouldn't piss on even if they were on fire! -if i could ;-)

    anyway, the severity of my condition has improved, its still a battle, but it's one i now accept that life has given me

    everyone reading this will have probably seen all the useful information on steps to take to overcome it

    it is an anxiety issue, and the anxiety is stimulated by thoughts, and associations with memories, experiences, and situations and places

    the first way i dealt with the anxiety was to get to places remote, outdoors, far away from everyone. the physical challenge in doing this (i cycled) did reduce my initial levels of anxiety over time

    this helped me feel \\

    Still so confused - - Aug 22nd 2012

     

    I never had any problems like an embarrassing public episode, it just came on, and I don't wait till I go home, I go in a stall.  If I have to go at the mall or something, at the urinal it just won't come out.  What's wrong with me then, is it still a phobia?

    How can I make myself pee? - - Jul 2nd 2012

    Okay I'm a 13 year old girl. I'm currently on vacation with my family. & I can't pee. I feel like I need to I but when I try I jut can't. Something is wrong with me. This isn't normal. I'm also always constipated. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel really lost. & alone like I'm the only one who goes thought this. Please give me suggestions. 

    Similar Story - Dave - self confident but anxious? - May 6th 2012

    Since dropping out of Uni with Panic Attacks this has been a problem. The anxiety has all but gone after 10 years with some struggle. Frequent urges to urinate have recently been a problem, helped by relaxing and training myself, but now I still can't urinate at urinals in the presence of others. The barriers between urinals really help but going out on the weekend when I'm sober with crowded toilets is putting me off going out. Feels ridiculous but I'm concerned that it is ingrained and I won't be able to get over it. Doesn't seem to be a problem if I'm drinking but this is not the answer. Just posting in support of others and if my conquering of panic attacks is anything to go by then there is hope for all of us. I thought that it would never get better!

    f'd up - - May 5th 2012

    This problem has ruined my social life. Tonight was another night I experienced how f'd up this whole situation is. I had not drank any liquid in the past 24 hours to prepare myself for -hopefully- a relatively pee free night out (a birthday at someone's house).

    But it was all for nothing, and drinking alcohol makes it so much worse. I constantly felt like I had to go to the bathroom. I arrived at 8:30 and ended up going home at 11:30 PM with some poor, made-up, excuse. In that time I had gone to the bathroom 3 times already, and I only drank very little in terms of fluids as I drank pure vodka. As I cycled home, I cried the whole way...

    ...This is coming from  a 28 year old guy..

     

     

    Glad There Are Others - Stephen - Apr 11th 2012

    I have the same problem.  I can really sympathize with those who are ordered to do this for an observed urinalysis.  I'm a guy and it's humiliating what I've went through in the past just to pee in a cup.  There have been times I've had to sit down on a tiolet and pee like a girl while some dude watched me.  I felt like a wasn't even a man or  he thought I was some kind of fag*ot.  Right now I am back in my apartment after failing to pee for another urinalysis.  I'm drinking a lot of water and I'm going to try again in a few minutes.  I'm going to bring my Ipod with me this time because I think listening to music might help.  I hate the sound of my piss hitting the cup and that is exactly what the drug testers want to hear.  Hopefully the music will help.  Hopefully I won't start to go and then cut myself off midstream and not have enough for a test.  Please wish me luck.  I've been clean for 10 monts and cannot afford to fail a test I can pass with a clean conscioius.

    USING LADIES ROOM AT SCHOOL - LILLY - Jan 24th 2012

    I GET EMBARASSED TO USE THE LADIES ROOM AT SCHOOL IM 15 YRS OLD AND SHY TO PEE AND TAKE CARE OF MY LADY NEEDS NEXT TO SOMEONE IN OTHER STALLS ESPECIALLY IF ITS AN OLDER LADY OR TEACHER. BUT I GUESS WERE LADIES WE ALL UNDERSTAND. I SIT TO PEE BECAUSE I SPRAY AND MAKE HISSING NOISES. WHEN I HAVE MY TIME OF THE MONTH (PERIOD) I WEAR FEMININE PADS (ALWAYS MAXI PADS) BUT THE RAPPERS MAKE SO MUCH NOISE WHEN I OPEN A PAD THAT OTHER GIRLS AND WOMEN CAN HEAR IT KIND OF EMBARASSING?

    bladder freeze - alena johnson - Jun 24th 2011

    i could sure use some advise on what to do for this problem.  i have observed ua's monthly.  the first one i did after about 2 hours of pain holding my pee.  i had to go, just couldn't release while the lady stands there.  is there a technique i could adapt to that is within like 10 minutes max. of sitting there trying?? i only have like 15 minutes and they call time.  you leave and come back in like 15 more minutes, other people knocking on door to leave their pee, breaks for the employees, please help??

    Observed Urination Drug Testing - morethanstagefright - Mar 18th 2011

    I am in my late 20s and have had difficulty urinating in public which ranges from moderate to severe.  This has been since I was a child; it is likely because of a traumatic and embarrassing event, but I have heard my dad had difficulty with it too, so perhaps it is hereditary.  I can urinate around people who I am very comfortable with, but I cannot go in the urinal in public restrooms if anyone is around.  Further, in really uncomfortable settings I cannot go even if I sit down, such as the port-a-john at a big social gathering.  At times, it becomes seriously uncomfortable: I usually just deal with it. 

    There have been points where I think I have "improved" but it has regressed lately.  This is disturbing because I would like to join the National Guard, but am apprehensive about even trying as I feel this is going to hold me back.  I have access to therapy if I choose to pursue it, but I am unsure if I could really become comfortable enough to urinate with a stranger watching.  Should I just accept that this anxiety is going to disqualify me from service?  

    wierd, but usefull - - Feb 23rd 2011

    just think it's all in your head, it's pure phsicallogic.

     and if by any reason, that doesn't work, you can always push hard to take a dump. then you will poo and pee. works always.

    don´t worry be happy

    TYPO in comment below - FM - Dec 9th 2010

     The comment below shoud read PELVIC not pelic. Sorry, i did not have my glasses on.

     

    PELIC DROP TECHNIQUE - FM - Dec 9th 2010

    iV HAD THIS PROBLEM FOR MANY YEARS. THE SOLUTION IS EASER THEN YOU THINK. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BREATH OUT AND HOLD IT. DONT BREATH IN, JUST WAIT. IN NO TIME IT WILL FEEL LIKE YOUR PELIC IS DROPPING AND YOU SHOULD START TO PEE.  IT EVEN WORKS WHEN YOU DONT HAVE TO GO. ITS A WAY OF EMPTYING YOUR BLADDER BEFORE A LONG JOURNY.THIS TECHNIQUE HAS SAVED MY SOCIAL LIFE.

    HAPPY PEEING EVERYBODY

    drug etsting OMG - paul - Sep 29th 2010

    hey guys. ok so i am in grade 10 and i chose to go inot the alternative program in my school and they told me i had to doa drug test so today i was full of water i really had to go and when i whent it i was not able to no matter what it wouldnt come out no matter how hard i tried we tried 3 times to do it but it id not work like i feel like i really have to go and im ecited it will finally happen then i get in there and it doesent work so its like wtf. any tips on how to overcome this so i dont have to take another one in 30 days pleas help OMG!!!

    Thanks for the post - Shy in public - Sep 22nd 2010

    I've had this problem for as long as I remember.  I have yet to find a true fix and still avoid using the restroom around others.  One thing that I found helped me out around people I know is to tell them. 

    I remember the problem going back to first grade and in high school I would go from bathroom to bathroom to find some privacy.  Even then I could stand alone for a few minutes hoping no one comes in.  At a concert I leave when a band plays their hits not when they say "this is off the new album" so I won't have someone banging on the door.

    I'm now 42 and about 10 years ago I told a friend and it helped.  I now tell people that I'm around, usually jokingly, that I can't pee if people are around.  This helps when around my friends but doesn't do much in public situations.

    I'm pretty sure that this problem has probably done damage to my kidneys.  I can remember times needing to pee so bad and not being able to that it would be difficult to walk to try and find a place.

    I went to see a Urologist when I was in my early 20's and he insisted I pee in front of him.  I couldn't and he just got mad.  I wouldn't suggest a MD to solve this problem as it is probably 100% a mental issue.

    can't piss to save my life - oxibanger - Aug 6th 2010

    I have trouble going even in my own home.  I hate it.  I can't do the things that I want to do.  Travelling scares me.  There is no way in hell I can use a public washroom.  If it's just a single toilet it makes it a bit easier cause you are in there by yourself but still, even then it can somtimes be almost impossible if I can hear noises outside.  The other week I was at the movies and had to piss.  I tried to go in the washroom but couldn't.  I had to go outside and piss behind a dumpster in the back.  I find any kind of opiate makes it way worse as well.  A few months ago I was arrested and that was a horrible experience in itself, but not being able to piss in the slammer was hell.  I was in for 72 hours and pissed 2 times.  The first time was in the court house holding cell.  I got everyone to move to one side of the cell so I could have some privacy.  It helped a bit, so did flushing to toilet and sitting down.  And the  2nd time I pissed was in the one shower I got.  BRUTAL.  When I posted bail I never moved so fast just  to get home so i could piss.

    shy bladder - lachlan - Jul 31st 2010

    This stupid problem started when i was 11 yrs old but it got worse every year i wasnt that bad at 11 now im 15 and a half and i can not use a public toilet anymore i cant use a toilet on a plane i cant even use  wheelchair toilets in public places anymore i cant go on camps i cant stay at anyones house i cant urinate at home when visitors are present . this problem is ruining my life.

    this is not very good :-) - A.R - Jun 11th 2010

    alrighty well i had shy bladder for they last 3 years starting somewhere in grade 10. i dont know how but i got shy bladder and didnt realize it till beginning of grade 12. what i would do is hold it in for 6 hours sometimes cause i was so afriad to go to the washroom if somebody was using one of the stalls. no matter how hard i tried to force it out i couldnt and would be quite miserable. now just recenly within the last 3 weeks of school the worst thing...i seem like i have the urge to pee every half an hour. even if i just went to the washroom (especially in the morning) i would still feel the urge to urinate its really annyoing cause now anytime i go to ask to use the washroom i hope to god no one is in the stalls if they are i would try to go if unsuccesful i would just pretend i went to the washroom flush and wash hands then go to a different washroom in the school. once i had to go to four different washrooms to FINALLY be alone. its so irritating it makes me stressful sooo much. i just think that i was holding it like that for how many years now im getting a bladder infection? maybe i dont know. but i would like it to stop. its all in my mind this "not being able to go" dillema and well i think its absolutely ridiculous that its happening to me. any advice? its a good thing school is almost done but it doesnt help the fact that i have to live through this another week especially my last year where i need to pay attention and the urge to go is not helping at all!!!

    taking treatment - hari - Mar 10th 2010

    i am taking treatment from Psychiarist. is this help to me.

    THIS IS TO GEORGE HELP!!!!!! - - Jan 21st 2010

    george i have so much to ask you nd thanks for gettin back to me quick so i have told no body about this i told  freind but i dont think he gave a shit he just said if you need it bad enough you will go but i said i cannot. and were i live there are no locks on the cubical doors so i have to wait until there is no one in the toliets, and trust me if people knew about it i would get humiliated off everybody. im not prepared to go through that hyponosity thing because it too much money and i dont think it will work. how did i get it? ive never been bullied in the bathroom or had problems with my dick before? i can piss in peoples homes no problem and in the house i have no problem just when im in colege and somone is there i dont have it really bad i dont think but somtimes i need a piss tht bad my bladder feels like it going to burst and i cannot go and it efects my life. ive tried running the water taps but it does not work and holding my breath and stuff. reply back soon as you cn george :)

    Is There no Tablet? - Allan N. Schwartz, PhD - Jan 20th 2010

    Hi George,

    My dear young friend, I can almost hear your frustration over the Internet. Ah, how easy life would be if there were only a tablet we could take to remove each of the problems we have. Sadly, there is no such thing. But, do not despair.

    You can do a lot to reduce your shy bladder symptoms. What you have is an Anxiety Disorder. It would help you to do things to reduce your levels of nervousness. For example, you are young enough to get plenty of exercise. You need to run, skip rope, play basket ball, swim, bike and do all types of things to get yourself out of breath.

    When you go to a public toilet, use an inside stall, close and lock the door. Flush the toilet a lot if that helps. At home, run the water in the sink.

    Learn to breath deeply, relax, imagine pleasant things. Imagine streams of running water.


    Be patient with yourself and this will lessen.

    IS THERE NO TABLET OR SOMETHING WE CAN TAKE - george - Jan 19th 2010

    This is ridiculious how the hell cannot we not take a piss i am 16 years old and im glad im not the only person who has this stupid thing is there no tablet or somthing that we can take to help us or get rid of it form a local pharmacy because i have the rest of my life to live and i dont want to go through my hole life like this because i go to a college and i try and hve a piss when other people are in the toliets with me makeing noise or even just talking. I tried to go to the toliet before when there was a man i did'nt even know and he was just getting chnged in the chnageing rooms making no noise at all i knew he was there and i still could not go he was pritty far way and i was in a cubical i need help i want to get rid off it beause when i go down the town when i am 18 i wont be able to go to the town and have fun because i am unable to be am scared to be honest help!!!!!!

    breath hold technique - - Jan 4th 2010

    The only thing that works is the "breath hold" technique. I didn't see it mentioned here, but I have seen it on other websites. Basically you exhale about half of your breath or a bit more, and around 30-45 seconds you go. The idea is something about carbon dioxide building up helps the pelvic floor drop, but I think the distraction from focusing on the lack of o2 also helps. I used to be unable to go outside of my home, but using that technique I can go at the urinal next to people and even got through observed piss tests. It really is a ridiculous problem and certainly not something to stress out about. Good luck.

    can this problem effect having erections - David - Dec 16th 2009

    I have had this problem with pee shyness for most of my young adult to adult life!I HATE it, I will hold my pee for ten hours, till I get home and then have no problem, I can not pee if someone is waiting behind, me, or in the room, and it's not because I am scared of making a noise, I just can't let go!! If I am in a private bathroom I usually do not have a problem! I will hold my pee untill I don't feel like I have to go anymore, I know that's not good! This is not something I like to broadcast, but I am 31 and have a little erectile disfunction, I think?? I have not went to a doctor, but no matter how turned on I am with a person, If I loose focus, or start focusing too hard, I loose it!!Yet not when I'm by myself as often!! I hate admitting this, but Iam frustrated about it, and I know that my pee issue has to be effecting me in this regard as well!! I am at work and even  as I write this I have to go pee, and I won't untill I get home!! I am looking for any advice from someone!! Help please!!

    Employment Drug Testing - Michael - Oct 21st 2009

    I've always had shy bladder syndrome and just discovered a new problem resulting from it. I left my previous job when I moved to a different state and when seeking new employment I discovered that many employers are now requring urinalysis drug tests as part of the pre-employment screening process. I was offered a job and then told the final step was to take a drug test within the next 48 hours. Before I even got to the testing facility I knew this was going to be a problem based on my past experiences.

    I get there, empty my pockets and am followed down a hallway to the bathroom where I have to pee into a cup while a staff member waits outside. I was completely full of water to the point where it was causing some pain, yet sure enough I couldn't go when I needed to. I tried twice, drinking more water after the first attempt. It didn't matter - Once I went back in, nothing came out.

    I later learned that they would have allowed me a hair test but only if I had gone back the next day to try the urinalysis and failed again. It was too late since the 48 hour time window for the drug test had expired and I had no knowledge that going back again would have any sort of implication on whether or not they would allow an alternate test for someone like me. I felt so humiliated after the first time that I was just too embarrassed to set foot in that place again. After my failed attempts that day I tried to convey that the problem was 'psychological and anxiety-based' but the person at the facility didn't seem to understand what I was talking about. That just made it all the worse, like I was even more of a freak.

    This occurance has taught me that the problem can go far beyond the usual 'avoiding public restrooms, using stalls, etc' problems that we all suffer from. The military folks seem to have it even worse, I don't know how they could get through something like that. I really think employers and the military need to look at altering their drug testing methods to include using hair, blood or saliva samples. Urinalysis is not only invasive, it's also unfair to those that suffer from this problem.

    Drug Testing in the Army - - Oct 10th 2009

    I've been in for 6 years now and we always have drug testing which is a urine sample. The process is usually early in the morning and they call out random names, and someone will watch you while you pee. Well...for me it's a very embarrasing moment, i tense up and i'm always the last one to go and thats after i've drank enough water to fill up a pool. After a few hours and 2 or 3 times trying I'll eventually go.  I havent found anything that works for me. HELP

    be happy - mat - Sep 23rd 2009

    i have this problem for 50 years.therapy, hypnosis doesnt work .stay barefoot on cold floor , it will help I have doughter and grandson  it is a problem .but inot a tragedy

    Shy bladder help - Allan N. Schwartz, PhD - Sep 10th 2009

    Hi Carol,

    I want to thank you for that valuable information and I will also read your book. As you know, many people are embarassed about admitting this problem to anyone and try to keep it to themselves. The more information we can provide the better. Again, Thank you.

    Dr. Schwartz

    Women with shy bladder - Carol Olmert - Sep 10th 2009

    I am a female who suffered from a severe case of shy bladder syndrome for over 40 years. During that time, I consulted with a variety of well-meaning health care professionals - physicians and therapists - no one seemed to know what to do or how to help.

    Through the International Paruresis Association (www.paruresis.org), I learned I wasn't the only one in the world with this condition. Furthermore, by enrolling in two recovery workshops which emphasized the Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy approach, I slowly and gradually recovered to the extent that shy bladder no longer dominates my life.

    Drawing on my own experiences and those of other female paruretics, I wrote and published a book to help other women recover. Entitled "Bathrooms Make Me Nervous: A Guidebook for Women with Urination Anxiety (Shy Bladder)" it is the first book to explore the shy bladder condition from a woman's point of view. It offers strategies for coping as well as detailed concrete exercises for full recovery.

    For further information, please visit www.bathroomsmakemenervous.com

    Thank you for this opportunity to offer hope and inspiration to the millions who suffer from a shy bladder.

    Carol Olmert

     

    Do You Have a Shy Bladder - Tay - Sep 7th 2009

    I highly sugest using music i know it sounds like it wont work but if you put like a slow song or sounds like the ocean it really helps.

    Bathrooms - Allan N. Schwartz, PhD - Aug 28th 2009

    Hello Gottapee,

    You are right, anything that works. if wearing an Ipod and listening to music works, do it, or count backwards, or breath deeply and tell yourself that this is just anxiety and nothing else. Stand there and do a meditation, flush the toiltet lots of times, etc. There really is no medication for this but self training helps a lot as does meditation.

    Dr. Schwartz

    Yeah Pissing - so easy and than not.. - GottaPee in AZ - Aug 28th 2009

    Wow this is so interesting.  Reading about everyone who has the same issue that I do.  I thought I was a freak.  My issues are usually outside of the home. I am 47.  I have copied a comment made by another at this site below, as it it totally me - If someone is in the bathroom already - ugh.  If it's a small bathroom, I typically just go to another one, or pee outside if I need too cause I won't be able to pee in the urinal unless it is a loud bathroom - loud fan, or just lots of people in it making noises.  The bathrooms I dread are those that have no dividers, and are completely silent and small.  Inevidably when I get in there, the guy next to me is pissing like a race horse.  I know I wont be able too - so I just go to the stall and take a seat pretending to be doinig other business.  When at the urinal I have found a little trick that works (the ipod one is good), I also count backwards from 100 in my head.  What you need to find is a distraction to take your mind off of what you are thinking.  You see you are thinking and worrying too much so it just snowballs. Your mind plays games with you and fills your thoughts with things like - 'Gee the guy next too me is probably wondering why I am not peeing yet'.   When really they are probably thinking about how to score with the girl at the bar!  If you can distract your own thoughts, you will pee.   I have been dealing with this for probably 10 or 15 years, maybe longer.  It sucks, but you can overcome it (I havent yet, but I hear there is hope!).  I don't stay in.  Get out there and Live.  I can't say that i don't do some planning - I know which bars, and restaurants will have 'good' bathrooms, and those that have ones i won't like.  I just try to make it work. If I can't make it work, I sit or I go outside and find a place ( I also know which places have hidden outside areas).   My friends call me the bathroom princess because of my issues.  I havent tried any med's or therapy.. maybe they would be helpful.  Something for the social anxiety piece of this to reduce that stress.  For me, when I am out I go to a club or wherever that is either bathroom friendly, or I count backwards at the urinal, Or I just go to the stall and just do my business (people really don't know or care, and really you will probably never see them again anyway). Also just stay in there until you do pee..  Gee how did life get so complicated !  Good Luck fellow Non pissers!  :)

    this comment below from another writer is me too - I agree!....... 

    .... Yeah, it's embarrassing!  If I go into a public bathroom and no one is there, I have no problem urinating in the urinal.  Even if someone walks in while I'm peeing, I don't have a problem.  It's if someone is already in the restroom, I have trouble initiating the flow, lol.  I will litterally lock up, and act like i'm peeing, so I don't look like a fool!  I don't know what to do?  It's even worse when I'm getting urine tested and I'm forced to pee.  The more I think about peeing, the more my blatter freezes up.  It's crazy, b/c i'm very secure in my sexuality.  I would have no problem getting naked in front of a stranger if I had too, but I have a really big problem peeing next to someone in a public restroom???  I hope this goes away, b/c the more I think about and dwell on it the worse it gets! 

    peeing in an airplane - Ian UK - Jun 9th 2009

    I have a problem peeing in in public, I use the cubicles. I can pee in public as long as I have managed to start, if not I have no chance and have to use a stall.

    I also have a problem peeing in an airplane I just cannot start. I have had times when I have been bursting to go but cannot it is very worrying and sometimes painful.

    I would appreciate any help, advice, I live in the UK in the south. I have even thought about hypnosis.

    Paruresis - Allan N. Schwartz, PhD - May 30th 2009

    In addition to the suggestions I made below about urinating in public bathrooms is this: Remind yourself, over and over, like a mantra, that every human being urinates and every human being  makes noise while urinating, everyone, male, female, beautifu, ugly, fat, thin, smart, not smart, young, old, sexy and not sexy.....It is not just you. Tell yourself that "it is not just me but everyone."

    Dr. Schwartz

    MEPS Paruresis - Arsenault - May 30th 2009

    Just got back from MEPS for the Army myself yesterday, had the same thing happen. There is a stall you stand in and you face the wall, but the guy looks to make sure you're not doing anything wrong. I drank enough water to send any normal person running to the bathroom. I have to go back this next following Monday and I'm hoping I don't screw it up this time or else i'm disqualified for 6 months as well.

    Responding - Cam - May 27th 2009

    Thank you very much for the advice. I will try to apply it and tell you how it goes! Thank you!

    Coping - Allan N. Schwartz, Phd - May 26th 2009

    There are many things you can do to help yourself and you can also enter psychotherapy with a cognitive behavioral psychologist.

    To help yourself: 1. Always use stalls and bend your head so people cannot see you or sit.  2. Remind yourself that no one is paying any attention to you, not at all. Tell yourself this over and over. 3. Flush the toilet so it make noise and that hides the sound. Do that even if you sit. 4. This will not ruin your social life and there is no reason why it should and remind yourself of that over and over. 5. Learn and practice meditation and deep breathing so you can learn to relax. Picure yourself urninating peacefully. 6. Flush the toilet as many times as necessary.

    And, speak to your parents about seeing a psychologist about cognitive behavioral therapy. This is a common problem and you are not alone.

    Dr. Schwartz

    Please help - Cam - May 26th 2009

    i'm 15 and its so hard to pee in public restrooms. Im in high school and its just the worst. How can anyone possibley pee in a urinal next to someone??? 3 years ago I actually used to be able to! But now im like crippled and Im 6'4 so I cant really use a stall cause you can see my face. And sometimes I pretened Im goin #2 just so I can pee. ITS HORRIBLE. Someone before I get into my adult years and lose my social life please help me and give me some tips!!

    I might have the solution for some - N/A - Apr 11th 2009

    I live i Norway and therefor my English is not perfect, but I will stilll make the opertunety to share my experience.

     I was terrible lost regarding my shy bladder dissorder. It started when I was 13 and developed to become a serious sosiall limitation. I had only 2 hrs action radiuos from my home. A mentally map over all 'safe' toilets kept me some more mobillity arround. Luckilly i got a good job as 19 where there was several toilet facillities that made it possible for me to be there the whole day. Bying a car and orgenicing all aciveties become top issue.

     By surfing on the net i discovered one desperate solution. I would by diapers ad start training at home to use them. This changed my life and now I hawe lost 70-80% of my symtoms of shy bladder.

    By learning alone at home in all secret to pee in a diaper, made it possible for me to experiment further.

    The next step was to go out at night walking long trips. Using the cover of the night was securing that no one i new could meet me and it would be safer regarding if to discower that I had a diaper on. To pee outside in the diaper was to my surprice easyer than I had expected. Due to long training I was secure and 'programmed' to use the diaper, so the different was not so grate.

    The next step was to use the diaper in daytime. I made plans to wear dark trousers and a long t-shirt to cove any signs of the diaper. I worked well an there has newer been any that have yet discovered the diaper.

     By increasing my action radious by using diapers I graually developed a sosial life. It ended with a sucsess torry. I am now happyli married with two kids.

    The idea was to gradually expose my problem by being able to pee in my diaper when other people was near. This come gradually and the sensation of award and safetynes justyfied the further use of diapers.

     To day I can use public toilets in some degree, the only situations it does not work is when there is some unrest situations outside cubical

    To MR.Pee sometimes man - Shy man - Mar 25th 2009

    He is'nt saying to go out and drink all the time....He just said that he is able to pee easery when he has been drinking..... I too have to sit down and act like I'm taking a dump when I pee...... I would do anything, anything so I can pee in a bathroom, I would love it to just go in pee, and go about my day.... But no, I would rather be retarted then to have this awful problem......

    Alcoholism - Allan N Schwartz - Mar 19th 2009

    Getting drunk is no way to handle the problem of a shy bladder. The dangers of alcoholism, liver damage, and other health problems far outweigh some minor benefit that will only be temporary under the best of circumstances. I do not recommend that anyone follow this fellow's ideas and I hope he puts a stop to it himself.

    Dr. Schwartz

    How i can sometimes - Mr Sometime Pee - Mar 19th 2009

    Ive found when im drunk its easier to pee in a cubicle but i havnt pee'ed in a urinal since i was 14, im now 23.

    I feel more relaxed when im drunk how ever if u do try this, be warned 2 get pissed u drink a lot and if you are out with mates the last thing you want is a full blader,i stick to bottled bear and shots, mostly shots and another way ive found im able to pee is by sitting down i hate to do it but i feel more relaxed as im able to take my time like im takin a dump and if the place has music in the toilet this also helps as i know people cant hear what im doing.

    When i go to pee in a bar i also try to imagine what im going to do the next day and plan my routine, make it up, helps me to relax.

    Even around my wife! - TBI Survivor - Mar 4th 2009

    I have survived a Traumatic brain injury and, with the exception of seizure disorder due to scar tissue on my brain, I do extremely well.  I cannot handle stess however, though I used to thrive on it - I was a military recruiter in a major metropolitan area.  I can't pee around other people.  I can't even go when my wife is in the bathroom.  I feel like ,since I am there; I must perform - right now!  I'm not wired that way.  I do take prescribed anticonvulsive drugs which tend to make me relaxed and easygoing.  I don't recall having this disorder before my TBI.  I socialize. I have been called gregarious and an extrovert before and after the TBI; so I do love being around people, but I'd rather be alone to pee.  I hope that you can tell, by my ability to compose intelligent discourse, that nothing is wrong with my "grey matter"; no do I have any physical disabilities.  I will mention that I have been catheterized every time I've been admitted to the hospital (for sugery following the TBI, 2 hernias, and 4 seizures).  This has resulted in a slight crook in my penis, but I pee without pain and can perform sexually (although I'm a bit shorter with a wider middle in regards to that organ).  I see a neurologist reularly who monitors my dilatin levels and seizure histrory as well as seizure-free state of health.  Do I men-tion my shy bladder to him, my M.D., or just cope with it? 

    Shy Bladder - Allan N Schwartz - Feb 27th 2009

    Hello Very Sad Man,

    You are using a very dysfunctional method to cope with your dysfunction: avoidance. While it is always tempting, when dealing with a phobia or fear, to avoid situations that can set off the fear reaction, it is never successful because avoidance always leads to depression. It would be much better for you to start to learn ways of coping with this problem. Here are a few ideas:

    1. Meditation because it reduces stress and anxiety, 2. Guided imagery as a way of, when perfectly relaxed, imagining yourself urinating in a public bathroom with no anxiety and how good that would feel, 3. When you urinate turn on the bathroom sink so that the noise covers the sound of urination, 4. Keep reminding yourself that everyone pees, not just you, and its no big deal, 5. When in a men's room, use the stalls and not the more open urinals and flush to cover the sound, 6. Go to a psychologist for behavior modification and cognitive behavioral therapy to help reduce your fears.

    Stop avoiding because it will not help you. Why not have a girlfriend? Women have this problem, too and no one will think it wierd. Tell yourself there is nothing to be ashamed of because this is a common problem and that is the truth.

    Good Luck, Dr. Schwartz

    26 have had this problem for about 9 years...... - Very Sad Man..... - Feb 27th 2009

    Well were do I start...... Im sure I know when I started this problem, I was 17 years old and got into trouble, so I had to have a lot of UA's...... With the PO just standing their watching me pee, I remember before that I always ued the stall to pee, well after having to take those UA's I was never the same. When I got older like 21 and went to the bars, I would sneak outside and find a place to pee where no one could see or hear me..... Same with going to house parties...... Well now I dont do much.... This whole thing has ruined my life, I dont even look for a girlfriend because that means I would have to be around her a lot and that means I would have to use her bathroom..... Sometime I just wish a was never even put on this earth, I would love to live a normal life and pee freely, just to go out and experiance life.... Im sure from this whole thing I have damaeged my bladder, Im mean even when Im by myself it takes forever to pee..... Life sucks.....

    a new technique - - Feb 21st 2009

    There is a very helpful technique that has helped a lot of people with this problem which involves holding your breath...here is a basic guide that explains the process:

    http://www.paruresis.org/FAQ/faq_page_23.htm

    shy blatter - - Jan 9th 2009

    Yeah, it's embarrassing!  If I go into a public bathroom and no one is there, I have no problem urinating in the urinal.  Even if someone walks in while I'm peeing, I don't have a problem.  It's if someone is already in the restroom, I have trouble initiating the flow, lol.  I will litterally lock up, and act like i'm peeing, so I don't look like a fool!  I don't know what to do?  It's even worse when I'm getting urine tested and I'm forced to pee.  The more I think about peeing, the more my blatter freezes up.  It's crazy, b/c i'm very secure in my sexuality.  I would have no problem getting naked in front of a stranger if I had too, but I have a really big problem peeing next to someone in a public restroom???  I hope this goes away, b/c the more I think about and dwell on it the worse it gets! 

    Densitization - Allan N Schwartz - Jan 9th 2009

    Hi "getting worse,"

    I stronly urge you to see a psychologist who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and the use of Systematic Desensitization. You can be helped to gradually reduce your anxiety about this. There are also self help techniques that you can find in our self help section.

    Dr. Schwartz

    getting worse day by day - xxxxxxxxxxx - Jan 9th 2009

    I AM 26, MALE.

    I no i don't have sexual problem but still i can not pee in when some one near to me or able to see while doing that.

     

    Its getting worse and worse due to this i am not intersted to go..

     

    help with some guidelines to over come this... 

    Overcoming anxiety - Jon - Dec 20th 2008

    About three or four months ago I went down to MEPS with my recruiter and a couple of other recruits to join the Marine Core. I had this same problem and I tell you that it almost got the best of me. It was extremely hard to pee expecially when the MEPS urine tester guy wasn't making it easy for me. He made me face him and the urinal in a quiet room with a window where all the rest of the nurses looked through and watched. It made me feel extremely uncomfortable to the point where I couldn't pee no matter how hard I tried. I failed that day but I came back the next. I drank about two cartons of water and held it for the trip to the point where my bladder felt like it was going to burst. When I got there I told myself that I wasn't going to let my future and my country down for something as stupid and pathetic as not being able to piss in a cup. So with all my stomach muscle I forced myself to pee in that cup and I passed. Now bootcamp awaits me and I am not going to let that same problem stop me from reaching my goal. Along with my asthma, anxiety and piss problem, I will not allow these things to make me fail to become the man I was meant to be. I am currently running and training my ass off like no other. I am also going to put an end to my shy bladder problem by practicing peeing with the door open at my house or outside with other people around. When I get comfortable enough to pee with the door open in the presence of others I am going to piss in an open urinal in public. Then I am going to practice on public trees and mailboxes until I put an end to this. If police tell me indecent exposure, I will tell them that this is a shy bladder treatment. 

    cant go - mark - Oct 18th 2008

    i am under a lot of financial stress and family stress , just lost my job ,i am in forclosure, i HAD APANICK ATTACK AND COULND NOT URINATE IN MY HOME . I TRIED GOING OUTSIDE AND IT WORKED A FEW TIMES.  IT GOT SO SEVERE I HAD TO GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM AND HAVE A CATHEDR INSIRTED.THAT WAS VERY PAINFUL IN AND OUT. i HAVEBEEN TRYING TO GO AT HOME BUT IT IS SPORADIC, IT IS MAKING ME FEEL CRAZY

    RE: Brad - Woot - Oct 15th 2008
    Yeah, I had a little bit of trouble at MEPS in 1992.  Problem is, is it gets progressively worse.  I've been in 15 years now, and it's really bad with me anymore.  I fly, and it's almost impossible for me to pee in the back of airplane - even when it's empty.  I used to dehydrate myself flying missions in Iraq to avoid this problem (very dangerous!).  Today I got hit with another random UA.  It was the worst one in 15 years.  My first 2 attempts (10-15 min ea.) failed.  Doubled over in agony, I tried a 3rd time.  20 minutes - I had to pump most of it drop by drop with my stomach muscles.  I almost passed out twice and my hands, feet, and arms kept going numb.  By the time I got 45ml my hands were shaking so badly I could barely even get the cap on without dropping it in the toilet.  F-ing horrible.  I absolutely HATE the Air Force on UA days.  Other days I love it - best job in the world.

    a relife - - Oct 8th 2008

    I have shy bladder and it is a relife to find out that there are others who understand the pain too. I am currently 15 and in high school. The bathrooms are alway crowded and you can never get any privicy. It can be very stressful and it makes me very selfcontess.

    a tip that has helped me - - Sep 11th 2008

    hey guys, I have had the same problem all my life (I am 28 now) - though it has gotten easier in most social situations, it has kept me from joining the military (which I always dreamed of doing).

    and I too tried a psychologist which didn't help at all. 

    I guess this is just something we have to live with.

    my best tip is to buy an ipod nano.  technology has made these little guys so tiny today that you can literally carry one in the pocket of your jeans wherever you go.  For those who hold their ears and try to zone out, having the little ipod with you will allow you to blare your favorite music to yourself and hopefully you can imagine being somewhere.  This has worked wonders for me on vacations at rest stops, etc.

    ughh - Steve - Aug 10th 2008

    so i have to go to boot camp tomorrow for the marines and they make you take a wizz quiz upon arrival..and yes i am bladder shy ..i can go when noone else is around me or if im in a stall and the door is locked but not if there is someone in the room with me unless there not paying attention...im screwed...when i had to take the test at meps center the guy had me go in the stall and i still couldn't go untill i started pouring water out of a cup into the toilet.

    International Paruresis Association - - Aug 9th 2008

    Check out
    International Paruresis Association
    Baltimore, MD 2120
    1-800-247-386
    www.paruresis.org
    www.shybladder.org

    No laughing matter - Chuck - Aug 9th 2008

    For those who do not have it, I imagine that it seems like a joke. But, its real just like tourrets, stuttering, and other anxiety disorders. Im glad to finally see that the medical field is becomming more aware of this. This hasnt always been the case.I would like to thank MentalHelp.net  for publishing another needed article on the web.

    Almost Ruined - Brad - Aug 8th 2008
    When I was going through MEPS(Military Entrance Processing Station) to join the Air Force, I was almost disqualified because of my shy bladder. When it came time to give a urine sample I just couldn't do it no matter how hard I tried or how much water I drank. I was forced to comeback the next day and try again. Luckily I got it on the second try. I only would have had one try again after that then I would have been disqualified for military service for 6 months. I am afraid at how this will effect me for years to come considering how often military members are forced to go through this.

    bladder shy - - Jul 31st 2008

    I suffer from this - it ruins my night out all the time.  I am 27 and it really, really, really gets me down.  It is so painful...

    I don't know what to do

    shy bladder guy - Douglas - Jul 26th 2008

    I have had shy bladder for many years.  It has affected my interest in going out socially.  Which ofcourse,  has affected my worklife. I believe I am deciding to actually take control of this disorder once and for all. I am a man.  It is difficult for me to urinate in a public restroom.  For many years all I needed was a stall.  Now I find it difficult to urinate in a stall because someone may hear me urinate.  Yes, it has gotten worse.

    social phobia, anxiety, depression - - Jul 25th 2008

    Social phobia has damaged my life and manifested itself in many ways : shy bladder, stuttering, blushing, sexual intercourse avoidance/inability due to fear of failure, fear of public speaking, fear of job promotion. Other problems include bed-wetting. I'm a PH.D., very successful at my prestigious job, but working far below my potential.  Lucky to meet the right woman, and so finally have children and a close, loving family.      

    other way - - Jul 14th 2008

    I'd would say i don't have a shy bladder, i more have a shyness to poo in public toilets since in my opinion that makes more noise than a shy bladder!

    - Franny - May 31st 2008

    I tried therapy for this problem, which I've had to varying degrees for about 35 years. Therapy made it worse and it's now about as bad as it's ever been. About eight years ago I learned to self-catheterize and that has vastly improved the quality of my life. I don't LIKE using the catheter, but I use it when I need to and don't avoid traveling, social situations, etc. However, it's possible that reliance on the catheter has made the problem worse... (I am a woman, which makes using the catheter easier.)

    so I'm not crazy... - - May 14th 2008

    I'm glad to find out that I'm not crazy for having this problem! I felt like I was the only person who suffered from it, but now I see there are ways to get help. Thank you.

    shy bladder - Shonie - May 14th 2008

    I have had a shy bladder for as long as I can remember. One thing that has helped is when I am in the stall, I actually tightly cover both of my ears with my hands so that I can't hear anyone talking or moving around. I don't know why or even how I stumbled upon this, but I have found that it usually works.

    I hope this helps someone else out there.

     

    Shy Bladder - - Apr 16th 2008

    I am so glad that you wrote about this. I have several patients with the same problem but could not figure a way to help them. I have tried all that you suggested. Do you have any other ideas?

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