| |
Basic InformationMore InformationTestsLatest NewsQuestions and AnswersBlog EntriesHoliday Coping with ADHD ChildrenADHD in AdulthoodDoes Your Child Have ADHD? The Mindful Prescription for Adult ADD/ADHDAre You Sure It's ADHD?Women and Attention Deficit DisorderAn Interview with Katherine Ellison on ADHDMindfulness for ADHD: A Promising New InterventionChildren, Television, Video Games and Attention ProblemsAn Interview with Lidia Zylowska, M.D., on Mindfulness and ADHDSoftware to Help with our Web Addictions? An Interview with Ari Tuckman, PsyD, MBA, on Adult ADHDMindfulness and ADHD: A New ResourceIt Is Me, Vinnie's Mom: Intervention, ADHD and the Family Crucible ContinuedIntervention, ADHD, Addiction and Enabling and the Family CrucibleGetting Unstuck from the Cycle of Bipolar Disorder3 Steps to Mindfully Work with ADHD and ProcrastinationWhy it May be Good If Your Kid has ADHD or Bipolar GenesAdult AD/HD: Effects on Relationships and Self-EsteemThe Brain, Nutrition and ADHDExploring the Upside of ADHDDo I Have ADD?Mindfulness and ADHD: A Tip from Dr. Lidia ZylowskaADHD - Breaking the Cycle of ShamePersonality Disorders and Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity DisorderMindful Approaches for Adult ADHDChildren, ADHD and Stimulant MedicationThere is No Such Thing as ADDLearning While Fidgeting: ADHDIt Is Not All PsychologicalParents of Children with ADHDChildren with ADHD and their FamiliesADHD Psychological Coaching: Learning to Cope without MedicationThe Amazing Story of a Boy Who Would Never Focus on AnythingI Thought I was Dumb: The Story of Ben Kilham, Bear ExpertAn Additional Comment About ADHD, It's Really RealADHD, It's Really RealInvolving Fathers in the Treatment of Children with ADHDAttention Deficit Disorder, A Personal AccountAdult ADHD: The Importance of Learning Social SkillsDo You Have Adult ADHD?Marriage, Family and Adult ADHDSmoking and ADHDDose-Response Curves and Treatment of ADHD, AddictionsNew drug warnings for ADHD stimulantsA New Way to Buffer Amphetamine For ADHD TreatmentTeachers as Brokers for ADHDPlaystation Neurofeedback Hybrid for ADHD TreatmentDaytrana skin patch for ADHD just approvedAdult ADHD: Difficult to Diagnose and Often Misunderstood VideosHow to Select the Best School Accommodations for Your Child with ADHDHow to Manage ADHD and AnxietyWhat You Need to Know about Students with ADHD and AnxietyADHD and Eating Tourette Syndrome and ADHD Nutrition in Support of ADHD TreatmentBehavioral Therapy: What it is and finding a therapist Project-Based Learning and ADHD Conditions May Mimic ADHDDepartment of Education Guidance Broadens Understanding of 504 Rights for Kids with ADHD Part I Treating ADHD in the African American CommunityHow to Build Self-Motivation in Teens with ADHDGoal Setting and Keeping for the ADHD BrainNeurofeedback Treatment for ADHDADHD in Preschoolers: What to Look For and How to HelpFYI on ADHD Evaluations Teaching Grit, Perseverance and Frustration Tolerance to Students with ADHD Does my Child Have ADHD? How to Start Eating Well When You Have ADHD 5 Solutions for Common ADHD Social StrugglesIs My High School Student Ready for College? (And Is My College Student Ready to Go Back?) Understanding and Applying the Science of Time ManagementImprove Homework Time with Strategies That Work For ADHD Student Voices: What Really Matters to Young Adults With Learning and Attention Issues 5 Ways Nutrition can Impact ADHD Symptoms 3 Tips for Adjusting to a New Diagnosis of ADHDCreating the Best Learning Environment for Students with ADHD ADHD & Executive FunctioningDepartment of Education Guidance Broadens Understanding of 504 Rights for Kids with ADHD Part II Ask The Expert: Neurofeedback Treatment for ADHDADHD and Suicide Risk FactorsThe Choice is in the Details: Medication Options for ADHDUnderstanding and Supporting Young Adults with ADHDHelping Your Young Adult Become IndependentCreating Structure and Routines for Children with ADHDWhen You and Your Child Have ADHD - Communication Skills to Resolve ConflictGuidance for Uncertain Times: Navigating Relationship ChallengesGuidance for Uncertain Times: Mindful Parenting Couples with ADHD: Creating Caring Connection amid the ChaosDisclosure and Workplace Accommodations for Individuals With ADHDA Summer At CampSelf-Advocacy Tips For Teens With ADHDADHD: Signs, Symptoms, ResearchADHD & Risk of Adult Drug UseHealth and Life Expectancy in ADHDFocus on ADHDPediatrics: ADHD and Food Allergies ADHD TreatmentADHD: It's a Family AffairDoes Your Child Have ADHD?ADHD in ChildrenLiving with ADHDRise in ADHD Cases in ChildrenWhy is Dating Difficult When You Have ADHDVideo Games, Screens, and ADHD A Potent MixAsk the Expert Helping Children with ADHD LD Conquer Chronic StressAsk the Expert: Mindfulness, Stress, & EmotionAttention Deficit Hyperactivity DisorderAsk the Expert Educator Edition: ADHD & Executive FunctioningAsk the Expert - Academic Evaluations - What Parents Need to Know ADHD and Sibling RelationshipsMedication Treatment for ADHD Using Time Out Treating Childhood ADHD ADHD-friendly Summer Family FUNdamentals Preparing Older Teens for the Road Ahead Tips for Teachers: Tailoring homework to make a difference Your Active Preschooler: Could it be ADHD? Tips for Teachers: Creating a positive dialogue with parents of students with ADHD Helping Parents & Kids Understand the Social & Emotional Aspects of ADHDSocial and Emotional Concerns of Children with ADHD: Strategies to Help Holiday Gifts for Children with ADHDBehavior Management and Combined Treatment for Children with ADHD Setting Realistic School Expectations for Students with ADHD On Their Own: Helping College Students with ADHD Children's Communication Challenges: Is it Attention, Language or Both? Out-of-School: Parenting During the Summer ADHD in the Workplace: Finding Success Emotions and Motivation in ADHDThe Role of Medication in Managing Children's ADHD Symptoms Top Tips for Combating Stigma and Addressing Myths about ADHD Facts and Myths about ADHD What To Do If Your Child Has ADHD? How Common is ADHD? Children, Meds, and Heart Safety: A Tale of ADHD and Public Health ADHD & Your Child’s Transition to CollegeYour Teen with ADHD: Challenges and Strategies for SuccessAsk the Expert - No more homework battles A Frontline to ADHDUnderstanding Girls with ADHD What is ADHD? What To Do When Your Child With ADHD is BulliedStop the Chaos! Tips for Creating a Peaceful Household When Mom has ADHDIs It ADHD?Ask the Expert - What else can I do? Complementary approaches to ADHD treatment All in a row: Getting your kids with ADHD organized Your Student With ADHD Was Admitted to College, Now what? Evidence-based treatment for ADHD in young children Home life when Mom or Dad has ADHD: Succeeding with your family How does technology affect ADHD? Diagnosing ADHD Helping Your Child Successfully Handle Change Recognizing challenging behaviors in young children: Could it be ADHD? Classroom Managment Supports for ADHD Behaviors in Preschool Settings Getting through to your teenager with ADHD What Everyone Should Know about ADHD Make Learning Exciting: Apps for Executive Functioning Teenagers, ADHD, and Substance Abuse Past Procrastination -- Get Your Kids Organized, Focused and MotivatedAsk the Expert: Late, Lost, and Unprepared: How to Help Your Child with Executive Functioning LinksBook Reviews |
| | |
ADHD - Breaking the Cycle of ShameElisha Goldstein, Ph.D. Updated: Oct 16th 2009 In a way, it's really amazing that we call ourselves a developed culture. Why do I say that? The shame in our society that comes from having a mental health challenge is enormous and immature. People who struggle with bipolar disorder, major depression, ADHD and other brain related issues are often, at least initially, hidden in a cloud of shame. Why? Because the ignorance in our society is pervasive and because that which we don't understand we fear, and that which we fear we oppress.
Having any of these issues is difficult enough and adding shame on top of it only makes it more difficult for the person and as a result, that person doesn't feel confident to show his or her talents out in the world and lives life just trying to hide or cover up their issue.
So what's in a label? While labeling for some people can feel like they are being put in a box, for others it can be a huge relief. Finally, this issue they've been struggling with their whole lives where people have told them they are irresponsible, stupid, lazy, etc... is named and now that is named, they can work on working with it.
Working with anything starts with awareness, that is the ground from which change can happen.
As an example, if someone is struggling with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), it may really be helpful to show them that this is ADHD because there are millions of people who struggle with this and there is a feeling of belonging instead of being so alone.
In addition, at times it is helpful to show a model of what is going on in their brain. Showing this helps the person recognize that the issue is not their fault and begins to untie this cycle of shame which only pours kerosene on the fire.
As a generalization, Neurologists and neuropsychologists are finding that people with ADHD seem to show deficits in the frontal cortex of the brain which is involved in problem solving, attention, reasoning and planning.
Many researchers are starting to believe that because the brain has been found to have plasticity - or that it can change - it is possible to work with ADHD, helping people become better able to regulate their moods and pay attention to what is most important. Often times this may be supported with medication.
What's important to know about all of this is that there is no magic bullet. While one approach might work for one, it may be another approach that works better for another.
More than anything, we must educate ourselves that we're all on a spectrum of disorder and adding oppression and shame to it only breeds disconnection which leads to imbalance, individually and culturally.
As always, please share your thoughts, resources, stories and questions below. Your interaction provides a living wisdom for us all to benefit from. Of course ADHD IS MY OWN FAULT. - - Sep 27th 2010
For 20 years, I've known how to stop being ADHD and refused to do it; namely, a bullet to my brain. I'm too much a COWARD to do this; thusly, only a politically correct, left-wing Obamabot liberal would say my struggles with ADHD aren't my OWN FAULT!!! Agree - Dario McDarby - Dec 24th 2009
We who have various neuroeccentricities face a strange paradoxical reaction by neurotypicals... at first, it's "oh you don't 'have' that." Then, it's "everybody's got that today." Those are demeaning and dismissive attitudes of uninformed ignoramuses. Their stupidity promotes shame and self-loathing.
It's an uphill battle.
The point is to accept our gifts, even through the incredible pain, and continue to realize that we have been given a different way of being in the world.
Dario McDarby
Neuroeccentricity and Neuroeccentrics So True! - Terry Matlen, ACSW - Oct 18th 2009
Excellent article! Finding others who share these brain "challenges" is a wonderful step in healing. Finding forums, attending conferences and meetings- anything to normalize one's struggles and discovering resources that can help, are healthy ways to work on improving one's life. Nice job!
Terry Matlen, ACSW
Director, www.MomsWithADD.com
Author, Survival Tips for Women with ADHD |