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Elisa Goldstein, Ph.D.Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.
A blog about mindfulness, stress-reduction, psychotherapy and mental health.

The Dalai Lama's Simple Message to Heal Relationships

Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. Updated: Aug 31st 2011


heart My guess is that if we were to poll most people there’d be a fairly high majority who don’t feel that connected to people outside of their immediate circle. That’s not necessarily a problem…until it is.

In the book Right Here with You, The Dalai Lama is excerpted saying “Concern and regard for others, and human affection, are extremely important factors for our happiness.” He challenges us saying “Try to become a good human being with a warm heart, regardless of whether you are a politician, a religious person, a businessman, or whatever. One’s individual behavior can contribute to the making of a happier family and community.”

Imagine a world where we realized that the checkout clerk at the grocery store is more similar to us than dissimilar. Imagine if we realized that what we want most deeply in this world, they also have that exact same longing. Imagine a world with greater awareness, kindness and compassion.

That world is in the making every minute of our lives.

From thoughts come actions and from actions come consequences. The first thing we need to do is think about it. What would it look like to be kinder to the people around us, what kind of actions would that lead to? Would we smile more to strangers? Would we help people we barely knew more? Would we volunteer more often or feel more open to talking to others?

What would the consequences be of a world where people were more open and felt a greater kinship to one another?

At the core of all of us a deep need to belong. My guess is it would naturally begin to fill that need. What would happen if people felt more peace in themselves?

Author and Teacher Thich Nhat Hanh has a famous saying, “Peace in yourself, peace in the world.”

Whenever we aren’t kind or compassionate to another person, as will happen because we’re human, the beautiful thing about this is that we can always begin again.

The moment we know we’ve strayed from being a “good human being” is a moment where we’re present and can choose to begin again.

Practice being a good human being, it all starts right now.

As always, please share your thoughts, stories and questions below. Your interaction creates a living wisdom for us all to benefit from. 


Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.

Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles and is author of the upcoming book The Now Effect, co-author of A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook, Foreword by Jon Kabat-Zinn, author of the Mindful Solutions audio series, and the Mindfulness at Work™ program currently being adopted in multiple multinational corporations.

Check out Dr. Goldstein's acclaimed CD's on Mindful Solutions for Stress, Anxiety, and Depression, Mindful Solutions for Addiction and RelapsePrevention, and Mindful Solutions for Success and Stress Reduction at Work. -- "They are so relevant, I have marked them as one of my favorites on a handout I give to all new clients" ~ Psychiatrist.

If you're wanting to integrate more mindfulness into your daily life, sign up for his Mindful Living Twitter Feed. Dr. Goldstein is also available for private psychotherapy.

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