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Elisa Goldstein, Ph.D.Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.
A blog about mindfulness, stress-reduction, psychotherapy and mental health.

A 3 Day Plan to Break Free from Irritation

Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. Updated: May 18th 2012

 

frustratedIrritation is a part of everyday life and it is adaptive in some ways. It gives us information and at times, motivation to change a situation. However, most of the time, our minds get stuck in habitual ways of relating to people and events that bring up irritation, creating a sense of everyday suffering. In other words, irritation itself becomes a habit. 

Krishnamurti was a teacher and philosopher, some would say a man of wisdom and he said, “It will take 3 days to rid yourself of this habit energy.”

Day 1: Spend the entire day focusing on what it is like to be irritated. Notice in the morning, afternoon and evening. What does it feel like in your body? What kind of thoughts arise in the mind? Become intimate with the feeling of irritation, get to know it, befriend it.

Day 2: Spend the entire day noticing irritation in others. Look for it, what does it look like on their faces and their body language. Notice the tone of voice that is used and what kind of language comes out of the mouth. What behavior comes from this emotional space of irritation? Study it.

Day 3: Notice the recession of irritation in yourself.

This may sound crazy, but consider it. What happens when you stare irritation in the eye? You begin relating to it instead of from it. In other words a space is created between your awareness and irritation itself. When you touch this space, this is The Now Effect, a moment of clarity and choice where new possibilities and freedoms arise. 

In this case, you begin to recognize that in automatic ways you've been maintaining this habit of irritation by the way you've been relating to it. When you face it, you break the cycle of thoughts, emotions and sensations and something begins to shift and follow the natural course of coming and going.

You might even grow your awareness to notice how others get irritated by seemingly little things, the small stuff. 

Give this a shot and enjoy your new freedom of mind. 

As always, please share your thoughts, stories and questions below. Your interaction provides a living wisdom for us all to benefit from.

 

Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.

Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles and is author of the upcoming book The Now Effect, co-author of A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook, Foreword by Jon Kabat-Zinn, author of the Mindful Solutions audio series, and the Mindfulness at Work™ program currently being adopted in multiple multinational corporations.

Check out Dr. Goldstein's acclaimed CD's on Mindful Solutions for Stress, Anxiety, and Depression, Mindful Solutions for Addiction and RelapsePrevention, and Mindful Solutions for Success and Stress Reduction at Work. -- "They are so relevant, I have marked them as one of my favorites on a handout I give to all new clients" ~ Psychiatrist.

If you're wanting to integrate more mindfulness into your daily life, sign up for his Mindful Living Twitter Feed. Dr. Goldstein is also available for private psychotherapy.

Reader Comments
Discuss this issue below or in our forums.

Ittitation Level - Aarohi - Feb 16th 2015

Dear Sir /  Madam

When someones is already feeling irritiated how can we expect to follow  A 3 Day plan , it wont give instent relif.

 

there has ho have come way out for instent mental relif.

 

Regards

 

 

IRRITATION IS NATURAL - manubhai - Nov 17th 2014

IRRITATION COMES LIKE SEA WAVES IN THE MIND. IT IS NATURAL. BUT WHY ONE WILL BE AFFECTED BY THE EXTERNAL IRRITATION. IF THE SOURCE OF IRRITATION IS THE SELF THEN THE INDIVIDUAL WILL GET THE RESULT OF THE IRRITATION. THE WISE IS WISE. ONE WHO IS NON RECTIVE TO ANY EXTERNAL SOUCES OF IRRITATION IS CALLED AS WISE. THIS IS MY DEFINATION. 

IN THIS EARTH THEIR ARE ANIMALS & MATERIALS WHO ARE THE SOURCE OF IRRITATION. ONE CANNOT CHANGE THEM . ONLY ONE CAN CHANGE OWN ATTITUDE. NON REACTIVE TO ANY TYPE OF EXTERNAL SOURCE OF IRRITATION, TEMPATION IS POSSIBLE. THANK YOU.

REGARDS TO ALL.

MANUBHAI

 

what exactly are the instructions for day three - John Doe m 29 - Oct 15th 2014

Days one and two make sense to me, however day three I'm not sure what I'm suppose to do. What do I stair into the mirror or, what does it mean to stare into the face or irritation... please give scientific instrucitons because death seems so nice. 

 

thanks, 

 

 

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