There is so much to being human and many times we wish we only had to experience the parts that felt good. We spend a tremendous amount of energy resisting and fighting with what’s difficult in life only adding more difficulty onto it. Loss is a part of life that we often don’t want to look at. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a job, a dream for the future, or a dream for the past, there are two sides to the coin of loss and being aware of both makes it all the more sacred.
The poet Kahlil Gibran once said:
“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”
There is love in loss and that’s what makes it so painful, but there is still love.
Our heart is always there to come back to, even when it feels like it’s breaking. Sometimes we need our hearts to crack to allow the light to come in.
In time of loss it may seem that because the heart is breaking, because that is where the pain is, it’s best to move away from it. But the heart is where your love lies and you need that more than ever in times of pain.
It’s a bit of a paradox, to move toward what is painful in order to find healing.
Even just placing your hand on your heart, acknowledging the difficulty of the moment is a way of accessing the gifts that are there.
When we are able pause and listen deeply to our hearts we can find what we really need.
Whether you are suffering a current loss or something from deeper in the past that is still holding you hostage, take this day or this week to pay attention to your heart. Listen for the pain and also the healthy things that you need.
It may be just placing your hand on your heart from time to time, it may be calling a friend, going on a walk, taking a warm bath, getting a massage, or simply sitting quietly with a cup of tea.
Whatever arises, make a plan to begin putting those into practice.
As always, please share your thoughts, stories and questions below. Your interaction creates a living wisdom for us all to benefit from.
Thank you - Maria - Feb 21st 2013
Thank you for this article on feeling the loss...I have been trying to heal from a relationship loss and though I feel I'm no better than the day it happened, this articles gives me hope that what I am doing at some level is helping. As they say, time heals...it's hard not to rush it. I want to feel good already as in my mind it's been a long time. I'd like to know more about how to find WHAT exactly in me needs healing... I just feel sad.