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Mandy KloppersMandy Kloppers
videos concerning mental health issues

Dealing with Liars

Mandy Kloppers Updated: Jul 17th 2013

We all tell lies. Often we have good reason to, for instance when we don't want to hurt someone's feelings. There are times when it seems acceptable to be dishonest but what about the times when you are faced with a compulsive liar? There are people who tell so many lies that even they begin to believe their warped deceit.

lie rubber stampMany liars tell porkies because they feel inadequate or inferior on some level. It often boils down to low self esteem. There are more sinister reasons for compulsive lying though. Sometimes, these people are downright psychopaths. They lack empathy and do not understand the level of emotional upset they bestow on others in the aftermath of their dishonesty. All they care about is winning and getting their way.

Dealing with a compulsive liar:

1) There is no point in confronting them. All they know is how to cover their tracks. Even when confronted with evidence they will find a story to validate their side. They cannot admit to wrongdoing so it is a pointless exercise. Instead, accept that you are dealing with someone who is dysfunctional and who does not think like the average person. Once you stop trying to change them and accept them for what they are they become easier to deal with.

2) Take whatever they say with a pinch of salt. Don't be taken in.

3) Limit your time with this type of person if at all possible. They project negative energy and have dubious morals

4) Be wary of opening up to individuals like this, in general they are less likely to be trustworthy as they tend to lack empathy for others and will use information for their own gain.

Some people lie out of genuine insecurity, I am not referring to this type of person. The above refer to someone who consistently lies and seems to have no idea of the impact of their lies nor empathy for their effects. They tend not to have many genuine friendships and don't seem to understand the rules of genuine human interaction. They really are a special, unsavoury breed!

 

Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a Psychologist living in the United Kingdom. She runs a private practice (see http://www.mandyjane-lifedesign.com for details) and offers regular advice and tips in her blog Thoughts on Life and Love. She specializes in working with step-families and relationships (especially relationships involving mental and emotional abuse) through online skype therapy sessions.

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