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Elisa Goldstein, Ph.D.Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.
A blog about mindfulness, stress-reduction, psychotherapy and mental health.

Train the Healer Within

Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. Updated: Nov 11th 2013

healA wise man once said, “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.” We might consider these words by the Dalai Lama as basic instructions for the future of our individual and collective lives. How can we breach opposing warring sides without understanding where the other is coming from and some inclination to help them? We can just continue to tear one another down on this planet, or tear the planet down, it’s only with love and compassion that we start to begin a healing process. But this healing instruction doesn’t just apply to our planet, there are parts of ourselves that we’re at war with and this also applies to the individual as well.

There are parts of ourselves that we hate, that we wish we could remove through some experimental new procedure. It’s the part of ourselves that feels shame or is wounded in some way. It conveys a weakness. But the newsflash is no procedure exists. We are stuck with all parts of ourselves and the more we want to get away from or hate the vulnerability that’s there, the more we suffer.

The answer lies in the Dalai Lama’s words.

We have to learn how to integrate all parts of ourselves. If there is a vulnerable part then healing begins when we approach that part instead of avoid it. When we approach it we do it with a sense of curiosity and a tender awareness. After all, wouldn’t a wounded child need the same?

We can begin by imagining our vulnerabilities as wounded children within us and consider what they might need. Would it be to feel at safe and protected, to feel at ease, to feel happy?

When we uncover what this is, we can begin to wish this for ourselves, “May I feel safe and protected, feel at ease, and feel happy.”

This is a 180 degree shift from what the brain wants to do and at the same time it’s essential to the evolution of our psychological makeup. It’s essential to begin to train the healer within.

Try this out as an experiment with yourself and see what you notice. Give it a week or so, being on the lookout for the vulnerable parts coming out and moving toward them with this curious and tender energy.

Allow your experience to be your teacher.

As always, please share your thoughts, stories and questions below. Your interaction creates a living wisdom for us all to benefit from.


Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.

Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles and is author of the upcoming book The Now Effect, co-author of A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook, Foreword by Jon Kabat-Zinn, author of the Mindful Solutions audio series, and the Mindfulness at Work™ program currently being adopted in multiple multinational corporations.

Check out Dr. Goldstein's acclaimed CD's on Mindful Solutions for Stress, Anxiety, and Depression, Mindful Solutions for Addiction and RelapsePrevention, and Mindful Solutions for Success and Stress Reduction at Work. -- "They are so relevant, I have marked them as one of my favorites on a handout I give to all new clients" ~ Psychiatrist.

If you're wanting to integrate more mindfulness into your daily life, sign up for his Mindful Living Twitter Feed. Dr. Goldstein is also available for private psychotherapy.

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