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Mandy KloppersMandy Kloppers
videos concerning mental health issues

The Secrets of Persuasion

Mandy Kloppers Updated: Mar 13th 2014

Manipulation is coercion through force to get someone to do something that is not in their own interest. Persuasion is the art of getting people to do things that are in their own best interest that also benefit you.

3D figures with chat bubblesYou can never persuade somebody who’s not interested in what you’re saying. We are all most interested in ourselves, and spend most of our time thinking about either money, love or health. The first art of persuasion is learning how to consistently talk to people about them; if you do that then you’ll always have their captive attention.

Here are a few suggestions to hone your own persuasion skills:

Mirroring - we like people who seem similar to us. Mirroring helps build rapport and this is one of the most powerful secrets of persuasion. Copying someone's behaviour and adopting similar physical stances to them is a form of mirroring that creates a feeling of similarity and mutual understanding. Many of us engage in mirroring behaviour naturally without realising we are doing it.

Establish Value - Besides the necessities to survive, almost everything has value on a relative scale. We want things because other people want these things. If you want somebody to want what you have, you have to make that object scarce, even if that object is yourself. Showing that your suggestion has superior value is a brilliant technique when it comes to getting someone to understand the importance of what you are suggesting/offering.

Urgency - You have to be able to instil a sense of urgency in people to want to act right away. If we’re not motivated enough to want something right now, it’s unlikely we’ll find that motivation in the future. We have to persuade people in the present, and urgency can be our most valuable card to play.


Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a Psychologist living in the United Kingdom. She runs a private practice (see for details) and offers regular advice and tips in her blog Thoughts on Life and Love. She specializes in working with step-families and relationships (especially relationships involving mental and emotional abuse) through online skype therapy sessions.

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