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Mandy KloppersMandy Kloppers
videos concerning mental health issues

Are Your Needs Getting Met?

Mandy Kloppers Updated: May 6th 2014

What is it that you need in your life that you aren't getting at the moment? What is it that is being neglected? Are you putting your needs on the back burner in favour of pleasing others? Acknowledging that you have needs is important, it's not selfish or arrogant. If you want your life to work out as you'd like you need to address your unmet needs. This doesn't mean being totally self centred or irresponsible, although prioritising yourself can sometimes make you feel this way. We are conditioned throughout our lives to think of others, be selfless and some people take this to the extreme. Life is about balance and part of that balance means putting yourself and your needs first regularly. When you do this it makes you a happier, more balanced person - a better mother, wife, friend...

3D Figure leaning on question markWe need food and shelter, warmth, rest, physical safety and human contact. We need relationships with others and a good relationship with ourselves. We need a sense of purpose and a sense of belonging. We need life to have predictable elements and stability as well as stimulation, excitement and adventure. We also need to feel appreciated and to have a sense that in some way we contribute to our world.

When we are critical and judgemental of ourselves, this is a sign that we have unmet needs. Try to think freely and imagine what you would have in your life if anything was possible. We often allow limiting beliefs to keep us trapped and accept our situations even when they don't fulfil us. Break your ideal life down into smaller steps and decide what action needs to be taken.

Be sure to check whether you are spending too much time trying to meet someone else's needs in the hope that your needs will be met after theirs. This is counter productive. Put focus on yourself, make your needs a priority. When we put off meeting our needs we can often end up bitter, resentful, angry and with ill health.

There as never been a better time than today to start honouring what you need in life. It will make your future brighter and more optimistic.


Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a Psychologist living in the United Kingdom. She runs a private practice (see for details) and offers regular advice and tips in her blog Thoughts on Life and Love. She specializes in working with step-families and relationships (especially relationships involving mental and emotional abuse) through online skype therapy sessions.

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