Email a link to this page to: Type the code into the box:

Resources Basic Information Effective Teams in the Workplace Building and Managing TeamsDeveloping Dynamic and Fully Functioning Teams Managing Stress and Burnout at Work Stress Management TechniquesMaking a Work Plan Work for YouStrategies to Keep Work Stress at Bay5 Signs of Emotional Exhaustion at WorkTime Management to Prevent Stress A Stress Survival Guide for HR ProfessionalsHelping Employees with Mental Health Issues Get Back to WorkSecrecy at Work: A Growing Phenomenon Communication and Conflict Resolution Skills Developing Assertive CommunicationCreating and Maintaining Quality RelationshipsConflict at Work: From Problem to Productivity Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy SkillsNon-Verbal CommunicationSocial Skills Career and Financial Considerations Defining a CareerQuality of Life ConsiderationsInformational Interviews and MentoringEducationFinancing and ValueFinancing and Value Continued Building Knowledge and Skills Changing Your Knowledge, Skills and Abilities and CredentialsPersonal Knowledge and Informal LearningPublic, Documented Knowledge and Credential ProgramsLearning Knowledge vs. SkillLearning Knowledge vs. Skill: PracticeTime Management and OrganizationTime Management and Organization: Commitment Mapping Latest News Many of America's Most Critical Workers Are Short on Their Zzzs3 Easy Deskside Stretches to Keep Muscle Pain at BayAs Manufacturing Jobs End, Opioid OD Deaths May RiseLots of Overtime Could Send Your Blood Pressure SoaringAHA News: How to Keep Year-End Deadlines From Ruining Your HealthSleepy Nurses Could Put Patients at RiskLife Expectancy Shrinks for America's Working-Age AdultsSome Jobs Are Better for Women's Hearts Than OthersAHA News: Your Eating-On-The-Job Problems, SolvedConstruction Workers at Very High Odds for Opioid and Drug AbuseHealth Tip: Handling Job BurnoutLosing Your Job Can Be a Real Heart BreakerCab Drivers Breathe in Way Too Much SmogHealth Tip: Reducing EyestrainOnline Learning: What's in It for You?Health Tip: Stay Healthy at WorkLiving With Repetitive Strain InjuryToo Often, Caring for Aging Parent Means Trouble at WorkHealthy Work Lunches Are Hard to Come By1 in 4 American Workers Struggles With Back PainWellness Programs Take Hold in American WorkplacesYoung Adults With Autism Need Jobs, But Resources Vary By StateCan Pregnancy Put a Damper on Your Career?Sit All Day at Work? Exercise Can Counter ThatHow to Make Your Workplace a Healthier OneAre Workplace Wellness Programs Worth It?Suicide Rates Fall When States Raise Minimum Wage: StudyHate Those Stressful Office Parties? Just Fake It, Study SuggestsAHA News: Top CEOs Offer Strategies to Improve Workplace Mental HealthHealth Tip: Preventing Carpal TunnelLong Work Weeks May Be Depressing, Especially for WomenHow to Decide When You're Too Sick to Work Questions and Answers How to Handle an Employee Who Tells Obvious LiesNew Job New ChancePromotionHelp For Aging Human Service Professionals?My HealthRelationship With My Boss #1Relationship With My Boss #2The Professor and MaryanneLusty BossSexual HarassmentAn Affair in the Workplace Blog Entries A Stress Survival Guide for HR ProfessionalsConflict at Work: From Problem to Productivity Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy SkillsHelping Employees with Mental Health Issues Get Back to WorkMaking a Work Plan Work for YouSecrecy at Work: A Growing PhenomenonEffective Listening in Small GroupsMental Health Software Project Management: Getting Started on the Right FootCan You Truly Be Yourself At Work?The World of Work - Have We Got It All Wrong?The Vortex of Violence: The Columbia Mall Shooting and BeyondAre Workplace Wellness Programs Worth It?Amazing Grief: When Resilient Magic Springs from the TragicBeware of Secondhand StressWhy Do We Dread Sunday: The Power of Anticipation?Work, Stress and HealthBuilding Stress Resilience and Organizational Hardiness Despite Doing "More with Less"The Visionary Emperor EncounterBe So SensitiveCareer Choices and OCD - The Right BalanceWant to Change Careers? You're Not AloneStressed at Work? You're Not AloneBooster Breaks at Work: Hit or Bust?Engaging and Energizing Audiences through Purposeful Play: An Interactive Exercises Model and MethodThe Final Five "N & N" Tools and Techniques for Saying "No" (and Meaning It) - Part IIITaking It Easy Can Actually Boost Your ProductivityThe Greatest Barrier and Passageway to Effective Communication at Work: “You”!Stress and Depression, Those Monday Mornings What I Learned about Engagement, Motivation, and Leadership from a 13-Month Old - Part IRescuing and Rejuvenating a Manager at the Bureaucratic Burnout BattlefrontAdding Insult to Injury: When a Type A-Driven Company Shuts Down Workplace Grief - Part ISeven Keys to Mastering the Message, the Medium, and the MeetingDesigning Effective, Efficient, and Emotionally Intelligent Phone/Web Conferencing: Part VIDesigning Effective, Efficient, and Emotionally Intelligent Phone/Web Conferencing: Part VDesigning Electronic Conferencing that's Effective, Efficient, and Emotionally Intelligent: Part IVHow to Relax When Faced With School and Work StressWhat are the Real Roots of Workplace Stress?Designing Electronic Conferencing that's Effective, Efficient, and Emotionally Intelligent: Part IIIDesigning Electronic Conferencing that's Effective, Efficient, and Emotionally Intelligent: Part IIDesigning Electronic Conferencing that's Effective, Efficient, and Emotionally IntelligentBurnout and (Vicarious) Trauma-Inducing Work Environments: Part IIISurviving the Conference Call Battlefield: Skills and Strategies for Successful Small Group Phone Conferencing - Part IISurviving the Conference Call Battlefield: A Contentious Case Vignette - Part IBridging the International Corporate Geo-Cultural Divide or Presenter Beware and Buyer Be AwareTo Retire or Not, A Complicated DecisionAre You an Engaged Workaholic?Understanding CriticismLoss, Ghosts, and the Stages of Grief: Part IIGrieving the Sudden Death of a Beloved Mentor, Manager, and “Man for All Seasons”Are You Ready for Productive Griefbusting in the Workplace?Productively Focusing Job Interview-Performance Anxiety: Transforming "Perfection" into Purpose, Patience and PossibilityDepression and Stress at WorkPursuing a Job, Self-effacement is Self SabotageShould I Change Careers During an Economic Recession?Managing a Work Life with DepressionWork and Family, are Boundaries Fading?To Succeed or Not to Succeed, That is The QuestionNo Slouching HereA Discussion of DisappointmentGossip: A Form of Workplace WarfareWork Place Climate, Depression and Job SearchingWhat Should I do Now? Recession and UnemploymentOne strategy you’ll want to know to be less stressed and more focused at work and life! Burnout, What It Is and What To Do About ItWhat Can You Do When You Have No Idea of What to Do?Sexual Harassment in the Work Place, An ongoing problemStress and Obesity, Do You Ask for Help? Videos Working your way to Better HealthPromoting Health in the Workplace The Multigenerational Workplace: Understanding and Hiring MillennialsDisclosure and Workplace Accommodations for Individuals With ADHDThe Psychologically Healthy WorkplaceCarpal Tunnel: Who Gets It? Unemployment and DepressionADHD in the Workplace: Finding Success Tips for a Healthier Workplace Using Technology and Social Media to Support Workplace Health ProgramsThe Art of Stress-Free Productivity: David AllenHow to make your workspace ergonomically correct The 3 Step Process to Deal with a Sexual Harassment IncidentResolving Conflicts with Coworkers or Family Members5 Problem-Solving Skills to Manage Workplace Stress8 Habits of Resilient LeadersCan Work Stress Hurt Your Heart? New Frontiers in Workplace Health Links [4] Associations[1] Employment[2] Government[5] Information[14] Journals[1] Services[18] Videos[1] Apps Book Reviews Chained to the DeskCoping With Difficult PeopleCrossing the Unknown SeaFull Steam Ahead!How Full Is Your Bucket?How Successful People ThinkLife StrategiesMind MappingNot Your Mother's LifeProcrastinationThe Art of Exceptional LivingThe Creative BrainThe Magic of Thinking BigThinking for a ChangeTreating People WellWelcome to Your BrainWhen Perfect Isn't Good EnoughWhy Smart Executives Fail

Related Topics Mental Disorders Autism ADHD Alcohol & Substance Abuse Anxiety Disorders Bipolar Disorder Conversion Disorders Depression (Unipolar) Depression Primer Disorders of Childhood Eating Disorders Dissociative Disorders Impulse Control Disorders Internet Addiction Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Personality Disorders Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Schizophrenia Sexual Disorders Suicide & Self-Harm Tourettes and other Tic Disorders Medical Disorders Alzheimers And Other Dementias Cancer Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease Colds and Flu Crohns Disease / Irritable Bowel Diabetes Epilepsy Heart Disease High Blood Pressure Memory Problems Men's Health Multiple Sclerosis Sexually Transmitted Diseases Sleep Disorders Stroke Women's Health Wellness Anger Management Emotional Resilience Exercise Mindfulness Positive Psychology Smoking Stress Reduction Weight Loss Life Issues Abuse Adoption Child Care Dating Disabilities Disasters Divorce Domestic Violence and Rape Elder Care Family & Relationship Issues Grief & Bereavement Issues Pain Management Parenting Parenting Child & Adolescent Development Overview Child Development and Parenting: Infants Child Development and Parenting: Early Childhood Pregnancy Infertility Child Care Relationship Problems Self Esteem Sexuality & Sexual Problems Speech Problems Terrorism & War Healthcare Health Insurance Health Policy & Advocacy Health Sciences Mental Health Professions Treatments & Interventions Alternative Medicine Assessment Medications Psychotherapy Lifespan Development Pregnancy Child & Adolescent Development Overview Child Development and Parenting: Infants Child Development and Parenting: Early Childhood Sexuality & Sexual Problems Homosexuality & Bisexuality Aging & Geriatrics Death & Dying

	Carrie Steckl, Ph.D. Finding Meaning Through the Many Windows of Wellness
Home · Bio · View Full Archive · RSS Feed

Imagine that you're in a meeting room with several co-workers. Before the meeting begins, people are sharing what they did over the weekend. Because it's seen as hip to go out on the weekends and network with other professionals, many of your peers talk about happy hours and fundraising events they attended, with ample name-dropping. Finally, someone asks you how your spent your weekend. You stammer for a response, because you aren't into those kinds of activities. Instead, you spent Friday night baking bread, Saturday working in your garden, and Sunday at church. But how do you be truthful and risk not fitting in with the company culture?

Does this sound familiar? If so, you're not alone. According to Sylvia Ann Hewlett, author of "Executive Presence: The Missing Link Between Merit and Success," the struggle between conformity and authenticity in the workplace is a major stressor for employees.

Part of this struggle has to do with our basic human desire to fit in. But it also has to do with corporate survival. If we see someone at work who is wildly successful, we're told to emulate that person's powerful qualities. But what if that's simply not us?

Sometimes, failing to fit in is an occupational hazard. It might lead to being passed over for a promotion or a raise. A person who doesn't toe the company line might not get invited to participate in important projects that can lead to advancement.

Hewlett's research shows that women and people of color face more challenges than their counterparts in navigating this balance. In fact, one of her studies found that over 40 percent of professionals of color felt the need to compromise their true selves in order to conform to company standards.

I find this sad and disturbing. Moreover, stifling employees' true natures is a real loss to these companies.

Keep in mind that being authentic doesn't mean we should do whatever we want. It's important to be professional and courteous at work; just because you don't like to wear pants around your house doesn't mean you should show your authenticity by not wearing pants at the office. But when we find ourselves second-guessing ourselves and how we "should" respond in situations out of fear that we'll be outcast, there's a problem.

So don't be intimidating when your true nature is gentler than that. Don't hide your goofy sense of humor, because your creativity and energy will probably suffer too. There has to be a balance between being our authentic selves and being what we need to be in order to make our career situation a win-win for everyone involved. It may not be easy, but I believe we can improve our skills and adjust to corporate requirements in such a way that our core personality and values remain intact.

Do you agree?

Source:

Hewlett, S. A. (2014). Executive presence: The missing link between merit and success. Harper Business: New York.

It’s a true blessing to have you visit my blog on mental health and wellness. I also write blogs on faith and caregiving in addition to teaching part-time for Columbia College of Missouri. For more information about my background and writing, visit my webpage at carriesteckl.com.

Share:

Email a link to this page to:

Type the code into the box:

Link: (Here's how to do it ... )

To link to this article:

1. Copy the HTML link code shown in the box just below.
2. Paste this HTML code into your blog or web page, into a forum post or a blog comment you make, into your Facebook feed, etc.

<a href="//mhn.centersite.org/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=53625&cn=207">Can You Truly Be Yourself At Work?</a>

Thank you!

toxic work environment - ER NURSE - Jul 1st 2014

I work as an emergency nurse in one of the busiest hospitals in Canada. The staff in ER is very close knitted and I am only new years new in the nursing field and a young nurse (25). I took a position in the ER as I love fast paced nursing and I'm good at what I do.

However the most uncomfortable part of my day is when the nurses create a circle to chat. I don't belong in their circle, they know eachother and I feel like a complete outsider. And they make sure they know I'm not part of their crew. It bothers me so much some times that I want to call in sick and I have anxiety going in to work. I try whatever I can to avoid [above and beyond patient care] to stay away from the nursing chat time. Then they are quick to point out and say stop being an over achiever or stop trying to look busy. It just feels so toxic. :(

Totally agree. - JR - Jun 27th 2014

A bit late for me, though.  As a very reserved person, I was never into the "strategic" spoofing, golfing, faux conformity, lying et cetera that has come to constitute a large part of my organisations "change" culture without, however, leaving behind the hierarchical, unforgiving, unimaginative "real" culture of the organisation.  The consequences of this, at least partial, was considerable mental health and addiction problems.  While I am over these (although I still take medication for depression and anxiety) and perfectly fit to work, I now find myself in what can only be described as internal exile.  I am paid - but I have no work, and nobody will give me any meaningful work in spite of my requests for it.  In fact, I am caught in a process of "soul management", wherein I am left to molder while my superiors and supine "Human Resources" department wait for me to retire prematurely under the strain.  This, actually, is a long-established technique, embedded in the organisational culture.  And culture trumps Strategy any time.

Anything that can help young executives, administrators and organisational "experts" from drifting into a situation even half as bad as mine has my vote.  Very best regards, JR.