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Mandy KloppersMandy Kloppers
videos concerning mental health issues

Steps to Self Reliance

Mandy Kloppers Updated: Jul 21st 2014

The more self reliant you are, the safer you will feel. When you know that many resources lie within you – it doesn’t matter what the circumstances are as you have the confidence to know you can handle pretty much anything. Here are tips to promote self reliance:

confident woman1) Be your best friend

Support yourself 100% and focus on your strengths and achievements. Self reliant people make the best of themselves and don’t put themselves down. They realise that they aren’t perfect but they make the most of what they have.

2) Quiet Confidence

Self reliant people don’t need to tell anyone who will listen about their positive attributes. They don’t need to prove themselves to anyone. They are kind, calm and collected. They are comfortable with themselves and feel happy in their own skins. We all know someone whose quiet composure makes them intriguing and compelling.

3) Discretion

Self reliance means you have the ability to look inwards for strength. Those who do not possess self reliance constantly look outwards for acceptance and security. As a result they do not learn the skills to cultivate self reliance. At times we all need other people’s advice but as a rule self reliant people see if they can solve issues on their own.

4) Monitor Neediness

Take responsibility for your own life instead of leaning on others too much. When you count on others too much, you deny yourself the chance to figure things out for yourself and you also deny yourself the opportunity to develop the confidence that comes along with knowing you can make decisions and stand by them. Personal responsibility is an important aspect of self reliance. We all need others at times but be careful not to adopt a belief that you cannot get by without help from others – a very self limiting place to be.

5) Self Acceptance

The most draining conversation you can ever have with yourself is one that revolves around everything that you think is wrong with you. When you do this you turn yourself into a weak and powerless person who is inferior to others. Why would you want to do that? How does that help you in life? This attitude often comes from years of conditioning and can take a while to undo. Give yourself some slack! If you want approval – approve of yourself. You do not need permission to accept and like who you are. The quicker you do, the quicker the rest of the world will follow suit. Be someone who is dynamic, effective and charismatic. This will show in your body language and others will respond favourably to the healthy, self reliant you.


Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a Psychologist living in the United Kingdom. She runs a private practice (see for details) and offers regular advice and tips in her blog Thoughts on Life and Love. She specializes in working with step-families and relationships (especially relationships involving mental and emotional abuse) through online skype therapy sessions.

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