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Mandy KloppersMandy Kloppers
videos concerning mental health issues

Why Are We So Busy?

Mandy Kloppers Updated: Dec 1st 2014

It's a worrying trend. People rushing about like busy little ants carrying out their daily chores but perhaps not really advancing or experiencing as much happiness as they had hoped. Many of us cope with a sub standard 'present' in the hopes of reaching that place in the future, where all the hard work and rushing about has paid off. An imaginary place where all is well and where we can begin to relish life and slow down a bit.

stressed 3d figureThis is one of the ways in which we seriously fool ourselves. We seem to have this expectation that if we work really hard now, this will allow us to relax and enjoy life properly at a later stage. The problem with this approach is that life is never linear.

I have seen many clients work incredibly hard, keeping their heads down in order to reap the rewards in their retirement. This has not happened and these same clients have ended up divorced and alone. Some clients have had health issues - their bodies have forced them to take stock of their attitudes and routines. Health issues can be a blessing in disguise as they make you re-examine how you are living your life, whether you are ready to or not. Life tries to teach us that it has its own agenda. Life just doesn't work out the way we want it to, when we want it to. Of course, striving and having goals is a great idea but not at the expense of your current quality of life and experiences right now.

I have had many health issues in the past and this has forced me to withdraw from society and take a detached view of what is going on around me. When your life is down to the bare basics, you start to look at life and each day very differently.

My "aha" moment came when I was stuck in a hospital, having lost my hair and having recently been disconnected from my ventilator that had helped me to breathe. I looked out of my hospital window and watched the pedestrians below. They were racing across the road, even when the traffic lights turned red. Any opportunity was taken to hurry and get on with their burgeoning "to do" lists.

It made me realise that perhaps we keep so busy in order to avoid having to really think about the important stuff. Things like whether we are really satisfied with how we are spending our precious time, who we are spending our time with and whether we are able to attend to what is really important to us. We get busy doing things like paying bills, getting from place to place, shopping, business meetings, online conference calls...all in the name of what exactly?

Where is it leading us? Some things need to be done, I get that. There are the mundane chores that very few can escape but keep your eye on the bigger picture. The energy that you give out today will shape where your life heads in the future. Is your life heading in the right direction? Are you even aware of where your life is heading?

Do you really need to be as busy as you are? Is it possible that being consistently busy is your way of avoiding the more important issues in your life? Take some time out, take stock of how you are living your life. Examine whether changes can be made to add peace and contentment. Being busy does not equate to success or more happiness. Quite the contrary.

 

Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a Psychologist living in the United Kingdom. She runs a private practice (see http://www.mandyjane-lifedesign.com for details) and offers regular advice and tips in her blog Thoughts on Life and Love. She specializes in working with step-families and relationships (especially relationships involving mental and emotional abuse) through online skype therapy sessions.

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