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Resources Basic Information Introduction to Anger and Its Costs Introduction to Anger ManagementWhat is Anger?Psychology of AngerPhysiology of AngerAnger vs. FearAnger Styles Are LearnedMotivational Effects of AngerHealth Costs Of AngerSocial Costs Of Anger Deciding to Manage Anger Deciding To Manage AngerRecognizing Anger SignsRage RatingsAnger Diary And Triggers Anger Management Techniques & Treatments Anger Management Relaxation TechniquesReality Testing and Anger Management Believable Reasons for Staying CoolAssertive Communication and Anger Management Anger Management and Making RequestsPutting It Together: Use of Anger Management TechniquesAnger Management ProgramsGo With The Anger Management ProgramAnger ContractingAnger Contracting (continued)Mandated Anger Management TreatmentHandling Anger Management Relapses Suggested Readings Recommended Anger Management Readings More Information Wise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Steven Shaps, MA on Anger Management Tests Anger Quiz Latest News Study Probes Causes of Anger in Returning U.S. Soldiers Questions and Answers Angry All The TimeDo You Know What's Wrong With Me?Getting Married, Stepsons With Awful TempersIntrusive Thoughts?I Have This IssueDoes Romance Lead to Aggression?Why do I Feel Like Everyone is Trying to Upset me?Preventing Unwarranted ConflictHe Says I'm Ignorant , Being a MoronFrequently Snapping Over Little Things!Guidance To Help My Son Deal With His Violent RagesPlease Help Me OutI Desperately Want to Make This WorkHelp!AdviceAngerDealing with Bipolar DsorderDoes an old brain injury contribute to anger management problems?dont understand meThree different personality disordersMy younger brother is having spells of rageviolent brotherI get violentAnger ManagementAngry at my doctor for prescribing so carelesslyI become very hostile towards myselfMisdiagnosed and Lied ToLiving In Fear Of The Next OutburstA Very Bad TemperAngry But Over-ControlledAngry FriendArgumentativeInner RageScreaming And Cursing HusbandAre These Just Mood SwingsExplosive AngerChaotic Family LifeTemper ProblemsRuining the Best RelationshipsA VIOLENT MARRIAGEJekyll & HydeMy Dad the DictatorViolent Behavior Blog Entries Parenting, Spanking and Later AggressionDo Violent Criminals "Turn" Violent, or Do They Just Stay That Way?Holidays and Family ConflictTwo Powerful Ways to Reduce Emotional ArousalOf Mountains and Molehills and WorryThe Psychology of Road RageRelationships and The Role of Mutual BlameGot Anger? Don't Manage It.When Getting Angry is SmartTurning Anger into AdvocacyProvocation, Anger and ReactionWhy Are People in Such a Hurry?A 3 Day Plan to Break Free from IrritationThe Impact of Stress and AngerDo We Need Enemies?We Love To Hate The BullyThe Frustration of WaitingWhen You Are Angry At Your TherapistAnger Throughout the GenerationsSex, Violence, Rage, Passion: "Being Human."Stress, Emotions and Body ResponseHow You Become the Wolf You FeedHow to Break Free from Life's IrritationsMuch Ado About SomethingThe Case of The Wayword Flight AttendantSpanking and Our Aggression: A ReflectionThe Link Between Anger and StressAn Interview with Paul Ekman, Ph.D. on Emotional ExpressionAnger May be a Symptom of Your BeliefsAnger May Stem from Alcohol and Other DrugsAnger is Like an IcebergDo Disrespectful People Make You Angry?Anger: Taming Your Tiger WithinManaging Anger and Emotional Stressors Could Save Your LifeAnger…constructive, destructive, or both?Rage and Its ConsequencesMen and Anger and Heart Disease RevisitedAn Interview with Steven Shaps, MA on Anger ManagementForgivenessNon Verbal CommunicationBipolar kids see aggression when it isn't there Videos Controlling AngerHelp Your Child to Be Angry BetterAnger, Compassion, and What It Means To Be Strong Anger Management Techniques Learn the 6 Steps to Coping with Anger and How To Overcome Anger Triggers Anger Management Techniques That WorkHow to deal with anger appropriately? The Mad Family: Anger Management For Children Coping with Anger After DeploymentDoes Anger Hurt Your Heart? Links [4] Articles[1] Associations[2] Information[1] Journals[10] Videos Book Reviews Action, Emotion and WillAggression and Antisocial Behavior in Children and AdolescentsAngerDestructive EmotionsEmotions RevealedGetting over Getting MadHandbook of EmotionsHatredLetting Go of AngerMaster PassionsMastering Anger and AggressionMindful AngerRestraining RageShame and GuiltTaking Charge of AngerTaking Charge of Anger: Six Steps to Asserting Yourself without Losing ControlThe Irritable Male SyndromeThe Mythological UnconsciousThe Subtlety of EmotionsThe Vehement Passions

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Commit With A Contract

It is a very good idea to draw up a written contract detailing the things you agree to practice in the course of your anger management program. Signing such a contract is a way of providing yourself structure and support, both important for your success. Print out your contract on paper and sign it with ink. Get one or more people who want to support your anger management progress to co-sign as witnesses. You may even consider posting the contract in a public place so that people you interact with on a regular basis become aware of your commitment. Going public with your contract and intention to change will strengthen your commitment.

The details of the contract - exactly what you write into it - are important. You want to be very specific in describing:

• Your goals for the program (what you hope to accomplish)
• What you agree to do to reach those goals
• How and when you will practice those things you've agreed to do.

Be specific! Do not write down obvious generalities, such as "I intend to stop overreacting." as your program goal. Vague goals like that are impossible to measure and leave you too much wiggle-room to bring about real change. Instead of vague goals, describe specific situations that are upsetting to you, and the specific behavioral techniques you will practice and use when confronted with those situations. We've already covered many of the techniques useful for controlling your anger, but they bear repeating just the same. Repetition helps with understanding.

Take a time-out

Agree that you will take a temporary time-out (a temporary break) when confronted with angering situations, whenever this is possible to do. Taking the opportunity to step away from an angering situation will give you space and time you need to calm and gather yourself, and to evaluate the situation from a more rational, cool-minded perspective. Return to the situation when you're done with your time-out.

As an illustration, when a fight breaks out between you and your spouse or partner, agree to take a temporary break from the fight to allow both of you to cool down. You already know that if you let the fight progress, it will get increasingly out of control. Taking a few minutes to step away, calm down, and think critically about the issue you're fighting about can put you into a better frame of mind to deal with the issue at hand.

Similarly, if you are habitually overwhelmed by family demands upon returning home from work, agree that you will provide yourself with private alone time after work but before you return home. Note that having a drink is not a healthy way to decompress. Drinking alcohol will only make your situation worse. Instead, go to the gym and work out. Take a yoga class. Simply sit in your car for 10 minutes and read that magazine or book you've been interested in. Do something to provide yourself with a little buffer zone so that when you do return home to your family you can appreciate what is good there and not be cranky or hostile. Often, a few minutes of alone-time or time-out can help you to better handle the situation when you do arrive at home.

Relax

Agree that you will practice relaxation exercises on a regular basis (preferably on a daily basis).

Since learning to control your anger often means learning to react less violently during stressful situations, it will be beneficial for you to become skillful at relaxing yourself. Relaxation techniques (including deep breathing exercises, meditation, and physical exercise as well) are an effective means of calming yourself down. When practiced daily, relaxation techniques become a proactive means of reducing your general overall arousal.

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Thank you!

this helped - Jenna from michigan - Nov 29th 2007
good relaxation tips!! they really worked