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Make a Valentine's Resolution


Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.: Tue, Feb 14th 2012

heartWe all know about the New Year’s resolutions, some of us make them; others don’t put much stock into them. But we can all agree that there are markers during the year that prime our minds to reflect on the past and look forward to the future around particular topics of change. So why not allow Valentine’s Day to be a marker to set the intention to bring more love into your life. 

Love comes in all forms; it can be kindness, empathy and even compassion. It can be love toward ourselves or love toward other people. We might be specific and consider love toward people close to us or maybe more general considering bringing more love to people we don’t know or whole groups of people who are suffering. 

Now, notice if any judgments arose after reading this that are in service of bringing your farther away from integrating more love into your life. If there were thoughts like, “this is silly,” “this is psychobabble mumbo jumbo,” or “my problems run much deeper than just intending to bring more love into my life.” See these thoughts for what they are, just thoughts, but thoughts that bring you further away from something that is potentially nourishing. 

Thoughts lead to actions and actions lead to consequence. If the consequence is moving further away from love that is a severe consequence. 

So why not set your judgments aside and let your experience be your teacher. 

What ways can you consider today to bring more love into your life? You can either be receiving it or giving it. 

Here are some examples to get you started:

Multiple times a week, put yourself first. Make time to do something that you normally wouldn’t give yourself the chance to do. This may be exploring a new neighborhood in your area, reading, writing, taking a bubble bath, meditating, exercising, or any number of creative ventures. Maybe it’s taking a mental health day from work when you’re not feeling emotionally well. 

Multiple times a week, intentionally do something kind for another person. Maybe it’s making your partner tea/coffee as they wake up. Perhaps, it’s laying an authentic compliment on someone. You might write a card when it’s not a regular time the person might receive one or send a written thank you note. Maybe you join the boys and girls club. There are lots of ways to be kind to others. 

You can choose any of these or make up your own. Every time you bring kindness to yourself or others you are going to reap some serious rewards of nurturing the love in your heart which is the gateway to happiness. 

Don’t let your pre-judgments enslave you, give this a try and let us know what you find. 

As always, please share your thoughts, stories and questions below. Your interaction creates a living wisdom for us all to benefit from. 

Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.

Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles and is author of the upcoming book The Now Effect, co-author of A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook, Foreword by Jon Kabat-Zinn, author of the Mindful Solutions audio series, and the Mindfulness at Workô program currently being adopted in multiple multinational corporations.

Check out Dr. Goldstein's acclaimed CD's on Mindful Solutions for Stress, Anxiety, and Depression, Mindful Solutions for Addiction and RelapsePrevention, and Mindful Solutions for Success and Stress Reduction at Work. -- "They are so relevant, I have marked them as one of my favorites on a handout I give to all new clients" ~ Psychiatrist.

If you're wanting to integrate more mindfulness into your daily life, sign up for his Mindful Living Twitter Feed. Dr. Goldstein is also available for private psychotherapy.

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