My husband really is, for most of the time, perfect. A wife couldn't ask for more! He is generally kind, thoughtful, attentive and affectionate.
Yet, when he gets upset or angry with me he is a different person. Then, he's a monster who rears its ugly head. He will go to extreme measures to hurt me even if I say something petty.
He doesn't have what I call, "healthy argument." Instead, he will react by throwing a hot drink over me or threatening to take away anything that makes me happy. He will never see his behavior as wrong and will never give in. He will refuse to make up sometimes for weeks.
These petty arguments will turn to extreme behavior. Some I won't mention because they are scary. These ups and downs have gone on for 7 years, every few months, maybe 6 months if I am lucky.
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