After my husband and I became engaged he shared with me that he likes BDSM-type behavior. It is not my thing but I decided to be a good partner/lover and give it a go, figuring we could do some of what he likes and some of what I like, taking turns and such. It worked for a while. Then, we decided to try to have a baby...it wasn't easy and we were never successful.
However, our sex life took a hit and I stopped being pushy about foreplay during ovulation time. Sometimes he loses his erection if foreplay goes on a while. Then, he got one of those fetish hoods. I allowed it on occasion because he liked it so much. He says it helps him relax because it blocks out sights and sounds around him (no distractions). Then, he started wanting to wear it more and more, and now, almost daily, his preference is to put on the hood and lock himself in the closet and leave me a key. He masturbates and will be in there for hours. Just because I bring him the key doesn't mean he's coming right out.
Fast forward to now. I'm lonely and frustrated. I haven't been kissed, REALLY kissed, in a few years at least. There is zero foreplay and he NEVER initiates sex. He almost always wants to go sit in the closet with his hood on before sex, to grow his erection, I suppose. There's no eye contact, no touching, nothing.
I have found myself wanting to stray. I love him, so much...but I feel unwanted and undesired. Just as a side, he also has social issues, too. He's very uncomfortable in crowds and meeting new people. Social anxiety, I guess you'd say. He refuses counseling and I just feel stuck. Stuck and lonely.
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