My boyfriend of over 2 years had a very ,very rough childhood. His mom was abusive and he was malnourished. Him and his brother and sister would get tied down to chairs during the day. Foster care, an addicted parent, etc, were all in the picture.
When I met him, my boyfriend was an alcoholic. Since then he has quit alcohol due to how aggressive he would get toward me when he would drink. He would not remember anything, and that lead black outs. So, he quit drinking entirely even though it still is hard.
We have shown extreme involvement in helping each other out because we were both pretty broken when we met. I have a personality disorder myself, BPD. So, I have a codependence problem and an excessive need for him to show me affection. Not until this past month did I actually discover he wasn't giving me this affection but not because of anything that had to do with me. He literally has a disconnection in his brain and doesn't find pleasure in affection. I asked him today as I held him as we watched TV, if it felt good, and he basically told me it didn't really feel like anything.
He also has a very violent history but hasn't shown me anything of the scary sort since he quit drinking. I've always told him he has a big heart and I have no idea how he came out so good when his past was so bad. However, as I said, I am starting to notice personality traits that make me think there may be something wrong.
Can you tell me your opinion doc? Second, can he just have a slip in his personality but that it's no underlying disease?
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