I am a 17 year old high school student who has enough motivation to get good grades and move on to college. However, I have frequent panic/anxiety attacks where I freak out and take it out on my family. I believe I have a horrible fear of uncertainty because I constantly think nothing will end up good for me and I'm always wondering when I'll be truly happy.
I'm afraid to get too close to people and open up because I only see them leaving me. I am very afraid of the whole marriage and relationship thing for the future because I guess I come off as extremely sad because people leave frequently from my life and that years me apart.
Also, my parents got a divorce last year so that may have something to do with it. I also have trouble keeping friends. They leave too easily and I don't know why because I try so hard to make them happy and talk to them about their problems.
I see such horrible things in people all the time but don't get me wrong, I see good too. However, the bad can be overpowering. I just notice these things about people by how they converse and present themselves. I also have a tendency to read stuff over and over again and this can last for awhile until I force myself to move on to the next thing.
I just don't feel very comfortable with life. It feels very twisted and broken. I want to be happy and have faith in people but I'm afraid and I also find talking to people casually is pointless because they will leave anyways. I don't know why I think or do these things. Help
THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.