My fiancée just left me. She was everything to me. I loved her more than I knew was possible. I thought I was wholly and unreservedly devoted to her and our dreams. She left me because she found out I had lied about when I stopped looking at internet porn--I stopped when she came to live with me, but I had told her I had stopped long long before that. The combination of the shock of finding the evidence on my computer, and the realization that I had lied to her face, made her leave. She went back home, 2000 miles away, and I think we are really over, and I don't know how to deal with it--deal with knowing that I threw destroyed both our dreams and wounded her, perhaps permanently. I never wanted to do anything wrong by her. I would have served her and honored her and shared myself with her completely. But apparently there is a division in myself that I don't understand or I never would have lied to her to begin with. How do I make something right out of this? How can I live with this?
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