Why is he ruining our relationship
I met my husband 4 years ago, and we have 3 kids together (ages 3mo., 1yr and 2 yrs). In the beginning our relationship was the best. I felt like he was perfect, and was so attracted to me in every way possible. Well of course all good things must come to an end. Last year on Mothers Day, (our second child was a month old), we spent the day together, watched a movie later that night, and we went and layed down. Well, he said that he needed to go check his E.Mail (which is on both of our accounts), so I was waiting for him to come back to bed so we could have sex. I guess I ended up falling asleep, because I woke up in the morning, with him beside me. I decided to go look on the computer, because I had a feeling something was going on, and I saw all kinds of porn on there, which he only stayed on them for less than a minute. I confronted him, and he lied until I started crying, telling him, that I know he did it. Then he said yes he did. He told me for the whole year (when ever I would bring it up again) that he didn't know why he was looking. He said he is not aroused from it. He could never tell me why. I felt like he wants to be with someone else, and he,s not attracted to me anymore. So everything has been good. Actually, last month I decided to let it go, and our relationship was wonderful again. Well yesterday I went through the google history, looking for a site that I went to for my student loans. And what did I find? Porn again, same as last time, only a few sites visited for under a minute. This time he did it when I was pregnant with our newest baby. So I asked him, and of course he lied, then later confessed to it again. He said that he has never cheated on me, and he is attracted to me, but he doesn't know why he did it again. During the past month when everything was good again, I asked him to watch it with me and he did and when we were watching them, he never once got aroused unless I started touching him. Yesterday, he said the reason he didn't want to watch them with me was because he was trying to stop looking at that because he didn't want that, and it makes him feel guilty.
Please help me. I am really thinking about leaving him. I also have one more question, do men really have something inside them that makes them want to look at other women, or is this something we women made up, to make it an excuse, so we feel better about our selves?
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