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Ask Dr. DombeckAsk Dr. Dombeck:
Psychotherapy and Mental Health Questions

Parent of only one

My husband and I have one child and will never have another, due to a medical condition I have. Had we known about my medical problem I'd have been advised never to have any children. We're glad we don't know and we absolutely treasure the child we have. That being said, I had always wanted to have several children. I'm having a hard time seeing friends get pregnant and feeling happy for them without feeling jealous. We really are thankful for the child we have and are tired of people, when they hear why we have only one, telling us we should be thankful for our one. WE ARE THANKFUL!!! and we make that clear to everyone. Yet somehow that's supposed to be enough and I can't seem to get over this. Just when I think I'm done being jealous of pregnant women another friend has a baby. And while we do see some benefits of having just one that doesn't make up for the sadness I feel over it all. I see so many things about women who can't have a child at all or can't have another, not any like me who just shouldn't as it's dangerous for the mother's health. My daughter is 5 and I'm so sick of people asking me when we'll have another child or making comments about it being odd we had just one.

I suffer from depression due to abuse suffered as a child and this whole issue just seems as one more way for life to get me down and be unfair. A friend just had her fourth child and I'm having a hard time being happy for her. When I do tell people I wanted more than one they always tell me how thankful I should be.

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