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Elisa Goldstein, Ph.D.Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.
A blog about mindfulness, stress-reduction, psychotherapy and mental health.

Taste the Lover's Meditation

Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. Updated: Oct 15th 2012


loversLife gets routine from time to time and we seem to lose sight of each other's needs. It just takes a number of disconnected moments to add up into a sense that the two of you are drifting a part. We can help ourselves by bringing some mindfulness into the relationship. It would be a great gift to any relationship to incorporate a Lover’s Meditation from time to time.

What do I mean by this?

Each one of us have a reservoir of love to give that gets nourished and depleted. At times we have moe than it than others depending on the kind of day we’ve had, how we’re feeling physically and emotionally. A spiritual perspective might say that there is an eternal reservoir of love if you can just tap into it, but on the surface in our day to day, we can sense what we have to give. 

In a mindfulness meditation practice you’re focusing on paying attention to some object whether it’s your breath, body, sound, sight, smell or whatever. When your mind wanders, as best you can, you bring it back without judgment for it wandering. 

Here the Lover’s Meditation

Make a friend or loved on in need your focus of meditation. The guiding intention is to bring a loving attention to them. 

This is an informal practice that you weave throughout the day. It’s not that you’re always focusing on them, but they’re on the tip of your mind. 

It may be an extra text or phone call that says, “I’ve been thinking about you, how are you doing?” Or maybe it’s that day you splurge on some flowers or that special juice that you know he or she likes. Or it could be a gentle foot rub or an extra long hug. A question like, “What can I do to support you,” can go a long way. 

From time to time your mind will wander, you’ll do something that’s insensitive or get distracted by things that are less important and then you’ll remember your meditation. 

At that point you’ll gently come back to the Lover’s Meditation. 

Not only can this help you get out of your own stress and worries, but your partner may just love you for it. Give this a shot for a day and see what you notice.

As always, please share your thoughts, stories and questions below. Your interaction creates a living wisdom for us all to benefit from. 


Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.

Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles and is author of the upcoming book The Now Effect, co-author of A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook, Foreword by Jon Kabat-Zinn, author of the Mindful Solutions audio series, and the Mindfulness at Work™ program currently being adopted in multiple multinational corporations.

Check out Dr. Goldstein's acclaimed CD's on Mindful Solutions for Stress, Anxiety, and Depression, Mindful Solutions for Addiction and RelapsePrevention, and Mindful Solutions for Success and Stress Reduction at Work. -- "They are so relevant, I have marked them as one of my favorites on a handout I give to all new clients" ~ Psychiatrist.

If you're wanting to integrate more mindfulness into your daily life, sign up for his Mindful Living Twitter Feed. Dr. Goldstein is also available for private psychotherapy.

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