Email a link to this page to: Type the code into the box:

Resources Basic Information TerrorismCoping With Terrorism and WarMental Health Reactions After a Disaster or Traumatic EventCoping with a Traumatic EventTips for Talking to Children After a Disaster: A Guide for Parents and TeachersHelping Children and Adolescents Cope with Violence and Disasters: What Parents Can DoCoping with Traumatic EventsTips for Survivors: Coping with Grief After Community ViolenceTips for Survivors of a Disaster or Other Traumatic Event: Managing StressTips for College Students: After a Disaster or Other TraumaFive Mental Health Resources for VeteransHatred, Terrorism and TraumaLate-Onset PTSD a Growing ConcernTwenty Ways to Promote Peace in Our WorldTips for Disaster Responders: Returning to WorkAnniversary Reactions to a Traumatic Event: The Recovery Continues Latest News 9/11 First Responders Face Higher Cancer Risk 20 Years LaterEarly Responders to 9/11 Now Face Higher Odds for COPDWeight Loss Can Help Cut Lung Risks in 9/11 First RespondersEquine Therapy: Horses Help Veterans Struggling With PTSDPentagon to Make COVID Vaccination Mandatory for Military'Light Therapy' Could Help Brain-Injured Veterans Struggling With PTSDNearly Half of U.S. Veterans Cited 'Personal Growth' During Pandemic: SurveySleep Issues Are Soaring in U.S. Military: StudyCounseling on Gun Safety Could Cut Suicide Rate in Military: StudyAHA News: Traumatic Brain Injury, PTSD Boost Heart Attack Risk in VeteransU.S. Soldier in Custody Following Slaying of 5 Americans in Iraq Questions and Answers Just Want to DieHow do I help my husband with anger issues since he has been back from Iraq. Blog Entries U.S. Army's Wounded Warrior Program Aims for Multifaceted WellnessMale Survivors of Military Sexual Assault Need Support TooRetreats for Wounded Warriors Enhance Well-BeingDo Violent Criminals "Turn" Violent, or Do They Just Stay That Way?PTSD: Using a Seasoned Approach in a New WayCreative Arts Therapy Can Help VeteransLate-Onset PTSD a Growing ConcernThe Navy Yard Shooting: Can Violence be Predicted?Must You Win an Argument and Lose a Friend?Legal Clinic Creates Therapeutic Environment for VeteransThe Trayvon Martin, George Zimmerman CaseThe Cleveland Tragedy, Complex PTSDBoston: Compassion During a Terrorist AttackCoda: The Boston Marathon AttackFunding Cuts Spare VA but Not Veterans' Mental Health ProgramsSome Thoughts About Guns and Gun ControlGun Violence, Reporting and Listing Names of the Mentally Ill?Five Mental Health Resources for VeteransThe Importance of ForgivenessGun Violence, Crime and How We Raise Our ChildrenTwenty Ways to Promote Peace in Our WorldThe Psychology of Mob Violence, The Middle EastNews Coverage of 9/11 and PTSDThe Tragic Shooting in ColoradoPrejudice, Racism and PerceptionPTSD and Violence, Can We Protect Our Soldiers?Guns, Gun Control, Violence, Children Ohio School Shooting and The Random Nature of LifeSome "Views" of Everyday LifeMental Illness and Innocence?10 Years Since September 11Did 911 Reveal the Limitations of Psychology?Acts of Violence, Fear of The Unknown, XenophobiaThe Cycle of Life: War, Peace, Happiness, and...Is it Wrong to Celebrate the Death of Osama bin Laden?A Mindful Benefit for International Childhood TraumaDoes Violent Speech Cause Violence?Intolerance and DiscriminationTwisted Thinking: Ideology, Delusions and SciencePost Combat Suicide Rate RisingWhat are you capable of? Abu Ghraib and your mental health Fear, Hatred and Prejudice, When Someone Different Moves In.Iraq, Afghanistan Wars and PTSD: Just Fraud?Dr. Bruce E. Nivins, the Anthrax Case and the Stigma of Mental IllnessFreedom, July 4, 2008Veterans and PTSD: The Invisible DisorderWar, Hatred and ScapegoatingSchool Shootings: So Now it's Cleveland, 10/10/07September 11th, 2001, A Personal MemoryAPA Fails to Ban Psychologists' Participation In Detainee InterrogationsTrauma and Culture, One Treatment Does Not Fit All.The Psychologist's Role in Military InterrogationsConflicting Values, Diversity and Tolerance: Kegan's Fourth Order of ConsciousnessViolence and Trauma: Virginia Tech, April 16, 2007Bob Woodruff and Traumatic Brain InjuriesWinds of War -- Poem & EssayAnthrax Scare Videos Tips for Managing Distress in the Aftermath of a ShootingTalking to Our Kids With Autism Spectrum Disorder About Acts of Terrorism Military Veterans and Smoking Art can heal PTSD's invisible woundsSuffering Soldiers: A Look at PTSD Terror Related StressHelping Youth Cope With Disaster What is PTSD?Coping with Anger After Deployment Links [4] Government[5] Information[1] Journals[9] Videos[6] Apps Book Reviews Surviving HitlerUnderstanding TerrorismWhat Have We DoneWorst Cases Self-Help Groups National Gulf War Resource Center, Inc.

Therapist Search Find a Therapist:  (USA/CAN only) Use our Advanced Search to locate a therapist outside of North America.

Related Topics Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Mental Disorders Disasters Mental Disorders Autism ADHD Alcohol & Substance Abuse Anxiety Disorders Bipolar Disorder Conversion Disorders Depression (Unipolar) Depression Primer Disorders of Childhood Eating Disorders Dissociative Disorders Impulse Control Disorders Internet Addiction Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Personality Disorders Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Schizophrenia Sexual Disorders Suicide & Self-Harm Tourettes and other Tic Disorders Medical Disorders Alzheimers And Other Dementias Cancer Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease Colds and Flu Crohns Disease / Irritable Bowel Diabetes Epilepsy Heart Disease High Blood Pressure Memory Problems Men's Health Multiple Sclerosis Sexually Transmitted Diseases Sleep Disorders Stroke Women's Health Wellness Anger Management Emotional Resilience Exercise Mindfulness Positive Psychology Smoking Stress Reduction Weight Loss Life Issues Abuse Adoption Child Care Dating Disabilities Disasters Divorce Domestic Violence and Rape Elder Care Family & Relationship Issues Grief & Bereavement Issues Pain Management Parenting Parenting Child & Adolescent Development Overview Child Development and Parenting: Infants Child Development and Parenting: Early Childhood Pregnancy Infertility Child Care Relationship Problems Self Esteem Sexuality & Sexual Problems Speech Problems Terrorism & War Healthcare Health Insurance Health Policy & Advocacy Health Sciences Mental Health Professions Treatments & Interventions Alternative Medicine Assessment Medications Psychotherapy Lifespan Development Pregnancy Child & Adolescent Development Overview Child Development and Parenting: Infants Child Development and Parenting: Early Childhood Sexuality & Sexual Problems Homosexuality & Bisexuality Aging & Geriatrics Death & Dying

	Mark Gorkin, LICSW A Blog about reducing Stress in our lives.
View Full Archive   Mark Gorkin's Biography   Contact Mark Gorkin

As many of you know, I'm a big follower of Charlie Chaplin, a genius who surely would have found inspiration in these harrowing times. As Chaplin observed: The paradoxical thing about making comedy is that it's precisely the tragic which arouses the funny...We have to laugh due to our helplessness in the face of natural [or terroristic] forces and in order not to go crazy. Well, what you are about to read may give new meaning to the word, "tragic," and as for me not going crazy...it's way to late for that!

So let me give you fair warning....

(This lyric may be hazardous to the ironically-impaired!)

Anthrax Scare

by Mark Gorkin

"The Stress Doc" (TM)

Opening a letter

Breathing in the air

Gets you a purple heart

In this anthrax scare.

Hey, a little white powder

Was always such fun, ah

For the safe daze of coke

And a hit of heroin.

The answer is simple

Become really vice free

Pull the damn plug

On news addict TV.

So what's all the worry

About this anthrax?

Hey, just go legal

Start pumping that Prozac.

The existential question

Well, it used to be:

Enhancement and a nose job

Before I'm thirty-three?

Blow off the competition

Forget that aqualine bob

Just be first in line

For that dicey nasal swab.

The answer is simple

For avoiding misery

Go out and find

Even worse off company.

So what's all the worry

About this Anthrax?

There's never been a shortage of

Hypochondriacs

And let's not forget

Those post office folks.

For so many years

The butt of our jokes.

Still, there's a silver lining

When handling mail is hell...

Now all are excused

For going postal!

The answer is simple

Just live virtually

Always on cyber-guard

With your McAfee.

I'll start to worry

About this Anthrax

When attached in an email

Or sent in a FAX.

Who's the dark, swarthy guy

With cold steely eyes?

Is an al Quaeda man

Selling me those fries?

If spores and greasy oil

Can be mixed and poured

Now we're talking McTerror

And billions will be served.

The answer is quite simple

Doesn't take a third degree

Someone looking different

Assume they are guilty.

So what's all the worry

About this Anthrax?

We've bloated half the world

With our Big Mac Attacks.

So stock up on the Cipro

Make a fortress of your flat

Get the latest model gas mask

Absolutely STAT

For those that really matter...

Just you and your cat!

(c) Mark Gorkin 2001

Shrink Rap (TM) Productions

Some words, hopefully, to help us all...Practice Safe Stress!

Mark Gorkin, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, is an internationally recognized speaker and syndicated writer on stress, anger management, reorganizational change, team building and HUMOR! The Doc was recently featured on CBS TV's Newspath segment -- Workplace Violence -- and in Biography Magazine. He is America Online's "Online Psychohumorist" ™ leading a weekly chat group for AOL/Digital City -- http://www.digitalcity.com/washington/stressdr . Check out his USA Today Online "HotSite" - www.stressdoc.com Stress Doc homepage. For more info, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 202-232-8662.

Mark Gorkin, the Stress Doc ™, acclaimed Keynote and Kickoff Speaker, Webinar Presenter, Retreat Leader and Motivational Humorist, is the author of Practice Safe Stress and The Four Faces of Anger. A former Stress & Violence Prevention consultant for the US Postal Service, the Doc leads highly interactive, innovative and inspiring programs for corporations and government agencies, including the US Military, on stress resiliency/burnout prevention through humor, change and conflict management, generational communication, and 3 "R" -- Responsible, Resilient & Risk-Taking -- leadership-partnership team building. Email stressdoc@aol.com for his popular free newsletter & info on speaking programs. Check out his popular website -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). Stress Doc Mantra: "Think out of the box, perform outside the curve (the Bell Curve) and be out-rage-ous!"

Share:

Email a link to this page to:

Type the code into the box:

Link: (Here's how to do it ... )

To link to this article:

1. Copy the HTML link code shown in the box just below.
2. Paste this HTML code into your blog or web page, into a forum post or a blog comment you make, into your Facebook feed, etc.

<a href="//mhn.centersite.org/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=976&cn=220">Anthrax Scare</a>

Thank you!